Salford’s ‘Knight Warrior’ Superhero Retires
The Salford ‘Knight Warrior’ has finally hung up his cape… It was probably for his own good.
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Vocal Coach Starts Using Sex Toys To Relax Student’s Throats
Think I’d feel a bit more at ease with a giant bumble-bee toy pulsating on my throat than sex toy in all honesty. Though David Ley is vehemently regarded as an absolute professional as well as being highly trusted by senior members of the University.
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Man Set To Wed My Little Pony Character Writes Long Letter To Deviant Artist Asking Him To Stop Drawing Raunchy Pictures Of My Little Pony Characters
The most amazing thing about this story is the fact that these two people even exist and were able to have this argument. Gotta love the internet.
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Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football League Week 31 Roundup
Fulham win away? Bale’s hamstrings finally given up. McManaman avoids doing time. Lamps hits 200 not out. Rio makes his case for a call-up. Man City’s assholes drop out.
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Disabled Con Artist Fakes Heart Attacks To Avoid Paying Restaurant Bills For Five Years
This sounds like something that might happen in an episode of Fools and Horse or something, but it’s actually been happening in real life for the last five years.
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Former WWE Superstar Saves Mother From Burning House By Uprooting A Tree
He uprooted a tree with his bare hands and used it as a battering ram to smash a window in. How cool is that?
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Star Wars Weddings: A New Hope For Marriage
Weddings are long and boring and they talk to much about God. Now however, the Scottish government might let us dress up like Storm Troopers and play with lightsabers when we get married.
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Famous People Are Stupid Too
You don’t need a brain to become famous in this life. But you do need to be an idiot to listen to people who are.
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Watch Dropkick Murphys Smash A Nazi-Saluting Skinhead In The Face With A Bass Guitar While On-Stage
While the Dropkick Murphys were celebrating St Patrick’s Day some skin-head Nazi jumped on the stage and started giving Hitler salutes. Next thing you know and one of the band’s carving his face in with his bass guitar.
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Napalm Death Banned From London Museum
A planned art installation involving Napalm Death is deemed too risky for the structural integrity of the V&A Museum.
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Kanye West Set To Name His Kid North
Picking a baby’s name is probably one of the hardest decisions you ever have to make in your life, so why not just make his name the lamest joke in the history of the world? Enter Kanye West.
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Here’s George W. Bush’s Private Email Address – Drop Him A Line
Have you ever wanted to have George W. Bush’s email address? Well now thanks to a hacker called Guccifer it’s all yours. You can also check out some really embarrassing paintings George W. Bush has painted and some weird Bush family photographs too.
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Ken Barlow Suggests Victims Of Child Abuse Bring It On Themselves
Bill Roache apologizes over comments made in an interview in which he suggests the victims of rape and abuse are to blame for deeds committed in their past lives.
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Newsreaders Voice Concern for Promising Young Rapists on CNN
CNN reporters worry about the futures of young sex offenders in American society.
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St Patrick’s Day Leads To Real Life Project X Party In Dayton, Ohio
St Patrick’s Day is always an occasion to get drunk and rowdy, but it looks like they took things a bit too far over in Dayton, Ohio, as one party ended up getting the riot police called in to shut it down at 5am, Project X style.
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Meet The Russian Woman With The Longest Legs In The World
Her legs are so long it makes her whole body look completely disproportionate. It’s also kind of awesome though too.
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Save Southbank: Legendary Skate Spot Set To Be Replaced By Shops
Rejuvenation plans threaten one of the worlds most famous Sub Culture, Graffiti Art, BMX and Skateboard hubs, The Southbank Undercroft.
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We’ll Have A Gay Old Time
A Christian group thinks gay people can be “cured.” Let’s all camp it up for a few weeks to annoy them…
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Fashion Vs Skateboarding: Why Jeremy Scott Is A Jerk
A frank look at fashion icon Jeremy Scott’s use of the iconic Santa Cruz Skateboarding graphics of Jim and Jimbo Phillips.
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Dennis Rodman Actually Got His Hands On The Popemobile
Remember when Dennis Rodman was looking for the Popemobile to ride around St Peter’s Square in on Wednesday? Well he finally got his hands on it and this is what went down.
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MP Gets Arrested For Starting Bar Brawl At Bar In House Of Commons
Don’t you just wish you could fight politicians sometimes? Well one politician – Eric Joyce – is living out your fantasies by getting wasted at the House of Commons and starting fights with other politicians and cops. What a badass.
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KFC Chicken Isn’t Even Made From Real Chickens
A totally true story about genetically modified food that’s not at all a bunch of made-up scaremongering. Honest.
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Shocking News: Beauty Pageant Recruiter Uses Girl For Sex
A Miss California contestant laments her decision to sleep her way to the top with a man who couldn’t actually make it happen.
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Luton Airport Forced To Apologise For Posting Picture Of Plane Crash On Their Facebook Page
It’s not a bad idea to try and promote your business through social media, but it’s probably a bad idea to put up a picture of a plane crash with an inappropriate comment if you’re trying to promote an airport.
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Depressing Abandoned “Ghost Estates” In Ireland
I’ve got a thing about abandoned monuments, but these ‘ghost estates’ in Ireland are pretty darned bleak. Damn you financial crisis.
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Bieber Blocker – Want To Delete Bieber From Your Internet?
Tired of seeing trends about Bieber? Pissed off at the amount of time you spend sifting through Bieber bullshit? Welcome to the rest of your life starring the Bieber Blocker
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WHOA – It’s Earl Sweatshirt’s New Single
WHOA is the latest single ahead of Earl’s new album Doris and it features Tyler, the Creator. Have a watch. Have a listen. Enjoy, or don’t. This is just the start anyway, he’s only 19.
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Footballer Turned Boxer Curtis Woodhouse Destroys A Twitter Troll By Tracking Him Down And Confronting Him
Twitter finally went out of control today, when a troll pissed off boxer Curtis Woodhouse so much that he decided to track him down and sort him out in real life. He live tweeted it the process too, obviously.
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Weirdos In Funny Hats Meet To Elect A New Geriatric Pope
1 billion crazy people are eagerly awaiting 117 weirdos in funny hats to elect a new geriatric Pope to rule over them. Here, Sick Chirpse explains why the whole thing is a complete crock of shit.
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The Trial Of Ian Watkins Continues
Ian Watkins has strenuously denied all the charges he has been faced with and released a statement regarding his alleged pedophilia at the preliminary hearing of his trial. Read the full version here.
