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Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football League Week 31 Roundup

Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football 670

Fulham win away? Bale’s hamstrings finally given up. McManaman avoids doing time. Lamps hits 200 not out. Rio makes his case for a call-up. Man City’s assholes drop out.

Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football 670

Week 31 is at a close and so is the Premier League action for a while as this week brings with it the disappointment that is international football. Couple of big upsets made their way into the league this month and not quite everyone backed the right players it would seem as there were a couple of shithole scores from teams that you would expect different from.

Top of the league Trems Trash managing a piddly 29 points where The Only Way Is Emma and Barcemoaner managed 26 and 31 points to send them crashing out of the top ten. Robbie Atkinson’s Diables Rouges racked up 28 points to take him into the top 20, and Ryan Williams’ Dirty Buffalo scored 45 points to take him into the top 5 for the first time this season – just 31 points off top spot. The big shout out goes to early frontrunner for the league Tom Sands and his Prison Break FC who managed 50 points to take him 6 points off from the top spot.

Here’s how the Prem went this weekend:

Sat 16 Mar 2013 – Premier League

Sun 17 Mar 2013 – Premier League

We didn’t call many of these games right but let’s be honest you didn’t either did you…Everton stunned the blue half of Manchester with pretty much the same team that rolled over against Wigan last week. Villa battled hard to cancel out Jermaine Penis and co. Southampton took it upon themself to ruin Liverpool with the help of Brad Jones in between the Liverpool sticks. Stoke held the Baggies to a scoreless draw as expected. Arsenal managed to see off Swansea as Sick Chirpse favourite Michu continued his quiet run. Rio Ferdinand ran around like a nutter before setting up Rooney for United’s only goal against a struggling now managerless Royals team. The Black Cats snatched a draw against the Canaries. Fulham stunned the Premiership and Spurs themselves by snatching a 1-0 victory at White Hart Lane courtesy of Berba. Lamps rolled back the years and made it 200 not out as he helped see off his old club West Ham. Wigan beat Newcastle and the Toon fans will let you know that this was entirely down to them escaping an awful red card which should have seen Callum McManaman do some porridge.

BIG HITTERS

big hitter

Rodriguez had a top game this weekend as his persistance and knowledge of how shit Brad Jones is paid dividends as he notched up a double figure in this fantasy football week for the first time this season. The Saints man scored and assisted in the same game for the first this season managing 10 points to help Southampton to a 3-1 win.

Chelsea £30 million boy wonder showed his true colours again this week as, alongside Mata, Hazard lit up the London derby from start to finish. He matched Rodriguez by getting a goal and and assist to his name on Sunday but set himself apart with skills that show him for what he is – one of the most exciting players in football today. If you want to see an example of skill and substance in one play just check out his goal to make it 2-0 on Sunday, simply sublime.

The real props of the week go somewhere that they don’t often go in the Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football League – to an Arsenal defender – Nacho Monreal. Nacho Libre has managed quite a few points since his debut two weeks that has seen the London outfit keep back to back clean sheets vs Sunderland and Stoke. After his disappointing 1 point last week he has returned with 11 this week to make him the league’s top point scorer with his first Arsenal goal to go alongside his third clean sheet. Not a bad finish after a great run from Cazorla and at 3.6 mil he might just be worth tucking into your back four seeing as he has had one shot on target in the Premiership and it went in – there might be some more this season.

BIG SHITTERS

callum

There can only really be one Big Shitter for this week and I suppose that it should be Joe Hart for letting Osman score a slow motion curler against him, actually we could’ve given it to Brad Jones for his continued attempts to ensure Liverpool don’t play European football next year – no no no – it has to go the  way of Callum McManaman for his horror tackle.

McManaman decided that it might be a good idea to take after his hero Roy Keane and try and recreate the Alf Inge Haaland (or however you spell it) tackle and end the season of Newcastle’s Haidara. In all fairness the Latics did go on to win the game and arguably wouldn’t have had this not happened but still – this is the kind of tackle that you’d expect in prison rules – and you don’t expect that from any Premiership team other than Stoke. Here’s a little look at the tackle to end all horror tackles:

[yframe url=’www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TTuVKjO_9E’]

It’s internationals week this week, including two huge England games against San Marino and Motenegro, however, don’t worry as the Premiership will be back the week after next. Here’s the games:

Sat 30 Mar 2013 – Premier League

  • Sunderland v Man Utd 12:45
  • Arsenal v Reading 15:00
  • Man City v Newcastle 15:00
  • Southampton v Chelsea 15:00
  • Swansea v Tottenham 15:00
  • West Ham v West Brom 15:00
  • Wigan v Norwich 15:00
  • Everton v Stoke 17:30

Sun 31 Mar 2013 – Premier League

  • Aston Villa v Liverpool 13:30

Mon 1 Apr 2013 – Premier League

  • Fulham v QPR 20:00

Mon 1 Apr 2013 – FA Cup

  • Chelsea v Man Utd 12:30

For your not so welcome wait for Prem games the powers that be are also granting you the chance to watch the hugely anticipated Chelsea United replay on Bank Holiday Monday – what more could you want?

Man Utd will do Sunderland away – RVP finally to end his 6 game goal drought. Arsenal to see off Reading at the Emirates. Man City to return to winning ways as Pardew’s men sink further into the bottom half of the table despite battling hard to only lose 2-1. Chelsea to win convincingly away at Southampton who pull a late goal back to worry Chelsea a bit on their start to something like 4 games in a week. Swansea to battle out a draw at home to Spurs with Gareth Bale still hunting for a return to form after a week’s absence. West Brom to beat the Hammers away despite Nolan returning from injury to bag a goal. Wigan to continue their standard late escape by beating Norwich at home. Everton to beat Stoke and put the nail into Pulis’ anti-football shaped coffin. Villa to score goals but Guzan unable to keep the Coutinho/Suarez game at bay. Fulham to draw against QPR. Penis scores again. Chelsea to finish Utd off to go onto win another FA Cup – just because they can. Lampard penalty to win it.

Here’s how the league looks for those who are still on the hunt for the £100 prize money:

Follow AMJ @amjeezie

Sick Chirpse

League PIN: 8009937

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POS Manager Team name Total points Week pts Starting
XI pts
Starting
XI pos
Goals Goal Pos Overall Position
1 Shane Tremlin Trems Trash 1357 29 1051 87956 77 112974 27753
2 AlexanderMark Jones Dunblane Massacres 1353 41 1032 102172 97 14699 29524
3 Tom Sands Prison Break FC 1351 50 1046 91650 95 20256 30416
4 Peter Jones Joner 1348 44 1062 80058 83 77546 31841
5 Ryan Williams Dirty Buffalo 1326 45 1025 107346 85 65973 43530
6 Tom Shipley Apocalypse Dudes 1324 35 1155 27091 95 20256 44803
7 Nicky Greenhow Boomerwanger 1319 40 877 200627 84 71662 47782
8 Huw E Dynamo Kebab 1318 29 971 147509 83 77546 48391
9 David Williams Muffin stuffers 1273 34 1207 11453 82 83458 78565
10 Johnny Callow Room 362 1271 44 1096 57251 81 89423 79972
11 Emma Craig The Only Way Is Emma 1268 26 967 150302 76 118629 82133
12 Billy Mclean Barcemoaner 1255 31 1016 114233 86 60393 91472
13 Huw Barker HavantGotAClueVille 1247 38 1197 13758 80 95399 97073
14 Gavin Rapaport Poo 1244 43 1053 86479 82 83458 99211
15 Jeff Ingle Jeffentus 1240 31 762 228028 85 65973 102073
16 Drew Walsh Real SocieLAD 1237 32 1129 38780 75 124319 104245
17 Alex Prince Prince Boatengs 1227 34 1064 78583 82 83458 111269
18 Matthew Stewart FC Boosh 1224 31 997 128654 81 89423 113333
19 Bobby Peliza bObbyDazzlers 1218 32 1036 99181 77 112974 117505
20 Robbie Atkinson diables Rouges 1213 48 837 214159 74 129815 120851
21 Lee Walsh KeansaKunt 1207 31 889 195442 80 95399 124843
22 Ross Stearny stearnpots barmyarmy 1199 18 1052 87197 69 156474 130008
23 Terry Buckingham Real Madras 1190 45 963 153041 79 101264 135660
24 Alex Taylor leave-my-arse-a-lona 1186 28 855 208670 79 101264 138034
25 Dave Ward Pimp My Side 1183 35 1024 108135 69 156474 139896
26 Luke Skidmore bunchofslugs 1179 33 1022 109699 80 95399 142349
27 Michael Magee Mickey T FC 1174 22 1209 11058 75 124319 145181
28 Anthony Ford 4 Dimensions 1170 38 887 196335 64 179803 147466
29 Tim Williams TIMW_BRAP KILLAS 1169 28 920 179945 79 101264 148012
29 Nikul Patani Brown Bear United 1169 27 1169 21953 84 71662 148012
31 Ryan Addams Fish fillet 1167 26 766 227566 69 156474 149141
32 Aaron Hicks Proud’s Prodders 1163 36 935 171076 72 140740 151339
33 Shaun Williams The Galacticos 1162 33 1122 42393 66 170846 151911
34 James Martin Tourist Attraction 1155 29 1155 27091 75 124319 155718
35 Dan Filer ClubTropicanaDrinkFC 1154 22 1101 54213 71 146046 156251
36 Neil Williams Lumpers and Kickers 1150 26 994 130921 72 140740 158305
37 Max Sheppard Fred West Ham 1149 40 919 180519 70 151277 158833
38 Trevor Brenson RJBs XI 1148 25 1148 29949 64 179803 159335
39 David Hewitt football 1147 31 1019 111973 68 161304 159898
40 Blake Walton Walton Wonders 1141 18 999 127165 66 170846 162881
40 Jon McLeish Bayern Bru 1141 29 1066 77204 68 161304 162881
42 Ben Rowland Atheist FC 1136 36 951 161048 74 129815 165361
43 Luke Wyborn The Wombles 1122 37 828 216547 69 156474 171915
44 Redwan Elharrak Real Talk 1111 18 1111 48508 60 195950 176860
45 Piers Dixon Dixon Balls FC 1102 39 1023 108914 58 203183 180755
46 Sam Lister inter thevan 1101 31 958 156452 68 161304 181162
47 Ben Lawson spunkin FC 1100 29 1026 106565 64 179803 181615
47 Martyn Aeissame Gratuitous FC 1100 28 924 177669 60 195950 181615
49 Ashley Townsend 1 MANNING 1 CUP 1096 36 712 232208 61 192046 183193
50 Mark Endicott Real Madreadfull 1095 23 786 224909 67 166135 183587
50 Sam MartinRoss Martin-Boss 1095 34 686 233465 68 161304 183587
52 Richard Dulieu Dyslexic CF 1094 30 1094 58490 64 179803 183966
52 Elliott Henderson Barsenal 1094 17 976 143996 63 184086 183966
54 Ross Williams Tepee Town FC 1093 14 1050 88687 63 184086 184411
54 Thomas Foley Unbelievable Crisps 1093 33 936 170475 62 188089 184411
56 smart les lemon peng-win 1090 30 1090 61007 63 184086 185657
57 John Twinn Pav FC 1084 10 919 180519 69 156474 188023
58 John Ryan Obi – 1 Kanobi – 0 1078 32 1078 69040 73 135262 190228
59 Toby Dennett Dennethinaikos 1076 43 1056 84342 55 213127 191008
60 Louis Day Spews Stars 1071 21 1071 73738 58 203183 192907
61 William Rowe Keefy’s Krunchers 1066 18 992 132397 78 107060 194754
62 Luke Henderson Luke Ronald FC 1056 19 978 142572 63 184086 198337
63 Christopher Davies T Dogg’s Ball Hoggs 1050 31 857 207973 50 227355 200436
64 Dean Webster Blues 1037 37 946 164248 52 221929 204748
65 James Blundell Blundells boys 1028 25 850 210212 67 166135 207568
66 Anthony Ward Park Ji Wonders 1022 20 903 188928 59 199605 209461
67 Daniel Ostridge Ajax Treesdown 1020 27 1059 82156 54 216225 210077
68 Charlie Hey tiki taka jazz cats 1015 7 1015 114992 66 170846 211597
69 Jack Hopwood FC Kaiser 1012 39 938 169270 47 234177 212469
70 Matt Morris Morris FC 1006 25 1006 121879 65 175409 214215
71 Mohamed Hussein Why Always Me FC 1003 27 886 196816 54 216225 215042
72 Patrick Grayson real aycliffe 1001 26 1001 125695 63 184086 215573
73 Danny Sharpe Team Sharpey 994 25 994 130921 59 199605 217473
74 Daniel Haviland Warriors 990 25 990 133824 40 245997 218587
75 Jamie Sadur Skid Mark 977 13 1019 111973 50 227355 221964
75 John Hawkins Mmmmcustard 977 31 839 213605 51 224697 221964
75 Daniel Guy Dans witwickys 977 22 977 143296 47 234177 221964
78 James Roberts WOOPWOOP United 958 26 892 194068 34 252069 226534
79 Michael Sinfield FC Scorgasm 956 21 956 157806 57 206669 226986
80 Josh Watkins bluesbrother 949 23 949 162378 39 247216 228538
80 Daniel Watson SirBobWouldBeProud 949 27 871 202979 48 232029 228538
80 Christian Adofo The Mandem 949 32 949 162378 64 179803 228538
83 Dave Bunker Team Bunker 930 25 764 227799 57 206669 232324
84 Steve French French FC 922 10 922 178818 43 241661 233833
85 Richard Gilbert Queefstars 920 16 920 179945 44 239930 234208
86 James Tootill BigDonFC 913 16 924 177669 34 252069 235497
86 Maxwell Hughes maxibon united 913 9 904 188467 49 229784 235497
88 Alex Crawshaw Crawshaw’s Commies 894 19 896 192248 53 219149 238629
89 Nick Randles Quallo 884 23 884 197695 40 245997 240103
90 Mark Guy butchys tanks 880 29 833 215275 51 224697 240657
91 Nick Reid OnOne United 876 16 876 201068 38 248378 241223
92 Nestor Schischka The Winning One 844 25 744 229785 33 252855 245078
93 Nick Bourne Greenham Royals 834 20 834 214998 44 239930 246119
93 Theodore Morgan DangALangTime 834 10 834 214998 51 224697 246119
95 Tomn Pitts Gareth Keenan Troops 819 16 819 218646 38 248378 247457
96 Wes Holden Green FC 790 10 790 224253 34 252069 249589
97 Craig Abbs Team abber 763 21 763 227914 32 253534 251160
98 David Armitage Real Betties 756 13 756 228653 43 241661 251484
99 Tyler Casey 50 Shades Of Goals 714 19 719 231755 21 258155 253264
100 Matthew Hurley 12fort 708 18 708 232424 44 239930 253497

 


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