Talk Show Host Sets Magician’s Head On Fire
Wayne Houchin finally gets on the tele again but this time the host decides it might be a good idea to burn him to death. Note to self – never appear on Carribean TV.
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NASA Scientist Says Many Young People Are Contemplating Suicide Over End Of The World Rumours
Apparently people are getting so stressed out about the end of the world that they’re actually contemplating suicide so that they miss out on it. Kinda dumb if you ask me.
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The Pope Joins Twitter
I hope all Sick Chirpse readers will join me in embracing the Pope’s arrival on our favourite form of social media twitter.
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Kim Kardashian Opens Milkshake Store In Bahrain; Whole Country Goes Crazy
If you had told me that Kim Kardashian opening a milkshake restaurant in Bahrain was going to be the biggest event in that country’s history ever I probably wouldn’t have believed you, but this video sure makes it look pretty fvcking huge.
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I Went To See A Clock Opera Gig On A Boat. It Was Shit.
Sick Chirpse take a trip to Thekla (the boat that they filmed Skins on) to watch Clock Opera. How shit was it? You have no fvcking idea.
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“Nail Houses” – Giving The Finger To The Man
If the business man wants to smash your house down, but you won’t move, even though everyone else has legged it, then you have a “Nail House”. And you are hard.
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First There Was Gangnam Style, Now There Is Carrier Style
China have ripped off Gangnam Style in a bid to go viral and created Carrier Style, which is a cross between Gangnam Style and a gesture two people working on their famous new aircraft carrier made over the weekend.
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Hashtag Baby
The trendiest (ugh) baby name ever has arrived and it is hashtag. No that’s it, not hashtag something, just hashtag. Srsly.
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Dean Gaffney Applied For A Job At MI5
Dean Gaffney is probably the person you would least suspect of being a spy because he’s just an East End wideboy dumbass. But according to him that’s what makes it the perfect cover for his new life as an MI5 agent.
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DJ’s Complaining – The Next Level: The Story Of Lil’ Louis
Last week we featured the DJ’s complaining twitter but here’s the DJ who’s the biggest complainer of them all and above all else a massive twat as it looks like he cancelled an Australian tour because he was booked on a flight on the wrong airline and subsequently kept the $11,500 he had already been paid for his services. It’s Lil’ Louis.
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Joseph Gordon-Levitt To Play Batman In Justice League
JGL is reprising his role from The Dark Knight Rises and is going to be taking up the mantle of the cape crusader for the new Justice League film due for release in 2015.
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Is Milking The New Planking?
Milking involves students pouring four pint cartons of milk over their heads and after could possibly be even more pointless than planking. It began in Newcastle, obviously.
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U.S. State Department Names Andrew W.K.Cultural Ambassador To The Middle East
Andrew W.K.’s life becomes even dumber as the United States government decide to employ him to promote partying in the Middle East.
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VIDEO: Parents Sent Kids To Therapy Over Super Nintendo In 1991
So back in 1991, adults were really suspicious of video games and sent their kids to therapy to deal with the condition they called Nintendpendent. Seriously.
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Kolo Toure Tricked A Model Into Having An Affair With Him By Saying He Was A Car Salesman
If I was a professional footballer I don’t think I would lie about being a car salesman to get women into bed, but that’s exactly what Kolo Toure did. Player.
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Pensioner Has Dead Wife’s Vagina Carved Into Her Gravestone
When someone dies who we’re close to, most of us visit their grave and place flowers. This guy got her vagina engraved on it.
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Photographs From The World’s Worst Waxworks Museum
Here’s a collection of photos of some truly terrible wax models of famous celebrities.
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Police Taser Old Blind Man After Mistaking His Stick For A Samurai Sword
A headline like that doesn’t need a blurb to go with it.
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O2 Boss Customer Service Again. Or Are Slightly Racist.
O2’s customer service and interaction is well known for being highly responsive and also pretty hilarious at times. But have they gone too far with these latest tweets which I’m sure many people may regard as racist?
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PETA Wages War On Pokemon For Virtual Animal Cruelty
Peta (People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals) have waged war on POKEMON. Y’know, ‘gotta catch ’em all!’ and all that business.
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Man Caught Taking Photos Up Girls’ Skirts In Manchester Arndale
Girls, be careful the next time you’re riding an escalator, especially an escalator within the Manchester Arndale.
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Real Life Anime Girl Unmasked
Remember the anime girl we ran an article on yesterday? How could you forget? We managed to dig up a picture of her without her anime makeup on and she’s kinda hot.
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Creepy Polish Priest Makes Young Children Lick Whipped Cream Off His Knees In Bizarre School Initiation
There’s not really much else to say with a headline like that.
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Crazy Russian Man Fakes Death In Order To Propose To Girlfriend
Ever think about how you were eventually going to pop the question to your bride to be? How about by faking your own death in a horrific car crash?
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New Super Slim Mobile Phone Seeks To Battle Visible Mobile Line
It’s pretty annoying when you’re wearing your tightest hipster trousers…
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The National Lottery Launches The New Lotto
The National Lottery is having a complete overhaul and introducing The New Lotto – which features even more ways to win and looks like it actually might be worth playing again.
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What Is Marmite Neglect And The Marmite Rehoming Unit?
This weird van has been driving around central London today and I just want to know what the hell is going on with it.
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Fruits For Drinks Are Spearheading The Freeze Dried Fruit Revolution
Freeze dried fruit.
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Shell Major PR Fail/ Win?!
A look into how a Greenpeace Hoax cleverly designed to take down Shell has been a huge success.
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Cat Gets Job As Security Guard
Cuteness overload reached; Southampton toy warehouse takes on feline security.
