I remember way back when Sick Chirpse first started a couple of years ago one of the first pieces I ever wrote for it was about the top 5 dumbest name changes in history. Those were pretty dumb but I don’t think anything is as dumb as what this woman has called her new baby girl Hashtag after the twitter symbol that has slowly but surely established itself as a staple in texting and conversations in modern life. There’s apparently a precedence for this so it’s not that outrageous as some dude in Egypt has also named his son Facebook to commemorate the role that the social media website played in igniting the revolution at the beginning of last year. I’m not sure which is worse though out of being called Facebook or Hashtag? I mean obviously neither of them are good – in fact they’re both downright terrible – but which is the worse I don’t know. Any input?
But yeah, this baby is called Hashtag. Here’s a screengrab of her and her mother’s comments about her birth:
I mean it sounds real enough right? I guess it could be an elaborate hoax but the terrible spelling kinda implies to me that this person wouldn’t even know what a hoax was if you explained it to her three times. The six exclamation marks as well really emphasises the joy that she feels and would be really hard to fake if it was a hoax. It could be a hoax though sure. I mean if you were going to make it a hoax you would probably use spelling as bad as the spelling used here, but that also makes it realistic too. Tough one. I’m gonna have to go with real though because it is exactly the kind of dumb shit that you hear about on Sick Chirpse every day.
Surprisingly users of twitter weren’t actually that thrilled that somebody had decided to name their baby hashtag and a bunch of them were going fvcking crazy about it. I think maybe they were just really angry that their own baby (the hashtag symbol) has now somehow been ripped away from the internet and given a physical form. I can kind of understnad that. Not. The parents just wanted to giver their kids the trendiest name they could lmao give them a break.
The points about it being a stupid name and susceptible to bullying whilst the girl is growing up are pretty valid though. I mean twitter probably isn’t going to be around in fifteen years so she will just be looked upon as a relic of 00’s eccentricity when she’s trying to score a date for the prom. Even if twitter is still around and/or people still use hashtags, there’s absolutely nothing cool about that so they’re pretty much setting her up for a life of torment. Maybe they should have named her tumblr instead because that’s probably where she’s gonna spend most of her time blogging about her little feelings. She’s probably not gonna be the trendy kid that her parents wanted her to be. Heh heh heh heh.
Here are some of the best screengrabs I can find of people’s reaction to this woman calling her baby Hashtag Jameson. Ed Sheeran even got in on the joke with a really unfunny joke which just goes to prove what a lameo that guy is. Did you check out his shit new tattoos? Anyway enjoy these and if you’re pregnant right now while you’re reading this maybe have a little think before you name your baby:
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