In what looks like it could have been the biggest event in the country’s history, Kim Kardashian opened a milkshake bar in Bahrain over the weekend called Millions of Milkshakes. I’m not actually sure if the place actually can offer you millions of milkshakes – because it seems highly unlikely that a store could actually offer that many flavours – but it’s still a pretty cool name and apparently it’s one of the biggest growing restaurant chains in the world. I’m not actually sure if Kim Kardashian owns it or is just involved (sorry my Kim Kardashian knowledge isn’t all that, ok?) but she seems to have attended a few of the previous launches for other Millions of Milkshakes restaurants (also is a milkshake bar actually a restaurant?) all over the world so she obviously has something to do with it or they pay her a fuckload of money every time one opens. And it’s not really surprising when there’s a reaction similar to the one in this video below which has to be one of the dumbest promotional videos I’ve ever seen.
Basically it makes it look – like I said earlier – like this milkshake bar opening is probably the biggest even in Bahrain’s history. One girl had the following to say about the visit: ‘I am so excited to see Kim; I am her biggest fan. I can’t believe she is here in Bahrain! Thank you Millions of Milkshakes for bringing her to us! I can’t wait to try her signature milkshake!’ which really does emphasise how boring it must be to live in Bahrain and how dry life must be over there, and judging by the reaction in this video it doesn’t seem like they ever have that much to get excited about. Perhaps they’ve never even been excited before.
I know it’s a promo video so it’s bound to make it look good, but this video does make it look fvcking huge. Kim Kardashian walks through throngs and throngs of people before she actually gets to Millions of Milkshakes, and all of them are taking photographs and filming it as you would expect and just generally completely losing their shit. I can’t really understand how the opening of a milkshake bar or an appearance by Kim Kardashian can inspire such a commotion? I guess both of those things must just be really big over in Bahrain!?
Following this, Kim Kardashian struggles to make a milkshake and then takes to the stage to talk a little bit about how much she loves Bahrain and has been calling everyone back home to tell them how cool it is and how she wants to bring her entire family over next year just for a vacation in a speech that she delivers with about one millionth of as much emotion as her sex tape. I’ll bet like 20 quid that she doesn’t come back on vacation next year, unless there’s another milkshake store that needs opening or something. After this is looks like there was some kind of weird concert with a bunch of weird acts playing but these guys only get about one milisecond of screen time each in the video so I’m not really sure, and it looks as though everyone left and just tried to follow Kim around anyhow. Check out the video below:
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On the other side of the city, a group of about 50 Muslims protested Kim Kardashian’s visit – they weren’t happy with it happening because she’s a dirty sloot who made a sex tape with one of them holding a sign saying ‘none of our customs and traditions allow us to receive stars of smut movies’ which I guess is fair enough – and these guys were eventually tear gassed by police because they were chanting God Is Great for five hours or something. I guess Kim Kardashian isn’t popular with all of Bahrain but I dunno if there was really any need to protest her visit or for this protest to end in these dudes getting tear gassed. They should have just fired milkshake at them instead or something.
I think the most important issue though is how come there are loads of Millions Of Milkshakes in the Middle East but none in England yet. Their milkshakes look pretty good and if they’re one of the fastest growing restaurants in the world and if this many people turn up for a fvcking opening then they must be doing something right. Anyone know if it’s actually any good? I wanna check it out. Looks like this promo video did exactly what it was designed to do. I’m a sucker.