He says Satan wasn't as cool as he thought.
It sounds like a real life 'True Detective'.
Tool of the devil.
Kill it with fire.
Zombies do exist.
Wait till you see what this guy looks like under the mask.
Nicest Satanists ever.
As good a reason as any I suppose.
What the hell is this guy blathering on about?
Either hand us a stake or a new pack of Duracell.
Here's what we recommend you buy your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
Here's a few things that you'll probably be pretty surprised aren't in that famous old book of guff...
Who the hell was responsible for this?
Three satanist news stories in one week, whats going on?
Is it really that surprising that a guy who looks like this is probably a murderer?
The Satanic Temple has performed a 'Pink Mass' over the grave of WBC founder Fred Phelps' mum's grave, and turned her spirit...
'tis the season to be jolly apparently. Sometimes though, we find it hard to be jolly whilst our ears are being raped...
As the oppressive Internet gets stronger, the world's saviours are summoning the devil through a fire tornado.