PLAY AGAINST SICK CHIRPSE IN THE FA CUP
Join our Bodugi.com league to try and beat Sick Chirpse’s FA Cup predictions and win a cash prize
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COP ON THE EDGE TOP TRUMPS
Nowadays, in the limp-wristed two thousand and teens, you have to be a dorky looking teenager with superpowers or a depressed vampire to be considered a movie hero. Back when I was young it was different. Our heroes were all Cops on the Edge.
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HAPPY ‘STRAYA DAY
Satire of a nation which then struggled to understand the word satire.
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HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (AND CONTRACTED SYPHILIS)
Ever wondered how your Dad met your Mum? How about all the women he met and screwed who aren’t your Mum?
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ANDREW WK – THE PAST TEN YEARS
Andrew WK announced he is touring his classic I Get Wet album. What’s he been up to in the last decade?
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SCHALKE FANS LOVE RAUL
Schalke fans love Raul so much they recorded a song about it
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14 KIDS. NO SEX.
Trent Arsenault, 36, is a human sperm bank. 14 kids, and counting, yet he’s still a virgin.
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FRANCESCO SCHETTINO: THE MOST HATED MAN IN ITALY
Captain Schettino (aka The Italian Mr. Bean) gets found out for his unbelievable misconduct and drunken antics.
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WARNOCK: ‘TWITTER INVENTOR TEVEZ GOT ME THE SACK’
Neil Warnock has taken his dismissal from QPR lying down. Naaaat. Lets play the blame game.
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MODERN WARFARE 3 DICKHEADS
It’s awesome winding people up on Call of Duty. They go nuts. I thought I was good at it but this guy will take some beating.
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BANNED REF PULLS A FAST ONE
A banned referee, Luchezar Yonov, pretends to be an eligible ref (called Raicho Raichev), fools everyone and actually refs a friendly between Werder Bremen and AZ Alkmaar.
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SHIT TALKERS
People talk shit.
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LIFE AFTER 2012: REDEMPTION OF THE JOBSEEKER
Jobseekers redeem yourself when searching for work. Warning: this advice will almost definitely result in more afternoons watching Dickinson’s Real Deal.
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THE DOOMSDAY CLOCK: OH GOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.
Except that we totally aren’t.
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ON DVD THIS WEEK: RED STATE
Director Kevin Smith returns with a map-cap, blood soaked black comedy rampage through the darkest extremities of the bible belt.
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NOEL FIELDING – SERIOUSLY?
“Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy” looks like a serve of non-sequitur nonsense. No Noel, that’s not a compliment.
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HENRY ABUSES FAN, THEN APOLOGISES
Thierry Henry has swallowed his pride and apologised for swearing at a fan after Arsenal’s defeat to Swansea.
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THIS IS WHY TERRORISTS SHOULD BE AFRAID OF MARK WAHLBERG
Mark Wahlberg would have saved United Flight 93 on 9/11. Because he loves to beat up minorities.
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FUCK OFF ITV
ITV have secured the contract to show England and FA Cup games. Everyone I know is stabbing themselves in the eyes in anticipation of this travesty.
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LINVOY PRIMUS IS TEN PIN KING
Linvoy Primus could have been a pro bowler. Check it out
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MCDONALD’S SERVE MOUSE SHIT BURGERS
McDonald’s serve buns with mouse droppings on to unsuspecting customers. Dirty.
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2011/12 – THE FOOTBALL SEASON IN REVIEW SO FAR…
2011/12 Football Review – Blue Moons, Sepp’s solutions and some very silly boys…
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DISNEY STUDIOS PRESENTS THE MOST DISTURBING FILM OF ALL TIME
Return to Oz. Greatest horror film ever made. Who says electro shock treatment has no place in a childrens film?
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SPORTING BRUTALITY: JAPANESE STYLE
Japanese college games are rawer than a sumo wrestler’s nappy rash.
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THE SHAPE OF POP TO COME
If there’s ever a time to scout out new artists and new sounds, this would be the opportune year. After all, who couldn’t use a soundtrack to the impending zombie apocalypse?
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DJ BALOTELLI
Mario Balotelli could be topping the charts soon as Tim Westwood is giving him DJ lessons
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Pat Butcher Rap
A rap to pay homage to the late Pat Butcher.
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CYCLING ETIQUETTE: HOW I ALMOST LOST MY LIFE TO A DREADED BELL.
A story about trying to do what you think is right and it ending up being very, very wrong.
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NEVER HIT A COP WITH A STUFFED MONKEY
Preston James Phipps has been jailed for assaulting a police offer with a stuffed monkey in Des Moines, Iowa.
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WIN TICKETS TO SEE M83 @ MANCHESTER HMV RITZ
Win tickets to see the French electropop group perform in Manchester on Wednesday 18th January.
