ARE HEARTS WORTH £50 MILLION
Vladimir Romanov reckons Hearts is worth around £50 million. We’re a bit baffled to where he plucked that fairytale figure from.
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I WAS REALLY DRUNK WHEN I WROTE THIS
I wrote this when I was really drunk. I don’t remember ever writing it, but I woke up in the morning and there it was, glaring at me. It seems alcohol releases the frantic darkness festering in the damp recesses of my brain.
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INTRODUCTION TO MY PAST GAMES NOSTALGIA FEST
A quick and breezy intro to my retrospective take on computers and games from days gone by.
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THE PERFECT GAME
The Sick Chirpser returns and tells you how to bed a girl within 8 hours of meeting her – also known as The Perfect Game.
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MAGPIES TO RENAME ST JAMES’ PARK ‘SPORTS DIRECT ARENA’
Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has never been a figure afraid to court controversy. But has the larger than life businessman scored the biggest own goal of his career to date?
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RETURN OF THE SLATZ – PART 1: YOU’VE GOT TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT
Slatz returns to Sick Chirpse with more stupid stories about his stupid life.
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CAN THE TELEVISION EAT YOUR SOUL?
New musings from the tormented participator. Can you escape the system? No.
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DRAKE & RIHANNA SAMPLE JAMIE XX & GIL SCOTT HERON
Drake samples Jamie XX & Gil Scott Heron for the title track of his new album ‘Take Care.’
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HANG ON A MO — THESE TASCHES ARE TREMENDOUS
Seeing as it’s Movember, Sick Chirpse reckons it’s an apt time to pay tribute to the top five best mousers the beautiful game has ever seen.
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WIN TICKETS TO SEE INCUBUS AT MANCHESTER ACADEMY 10TH NOV
Enter this competition to see Incubus perform their classic songs when they perform live in Manchester next week.
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IS LANA DEL REY A FRAUD?
Is the music by the golden girl of indie as fake as her lips are?
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LADY GAGA – MARRY THE NIGHT (THE WEEKND & ILLANGELO REMIX)
The Weeknd remixes everyone’s favourite man-in-drag ‘Lady Gaga’.
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FILM REVIEW: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN- SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT
Lynne Ramsay takes on the difficult task of adapting Lionel Shriver’s novel about a high school killer for the big screen.
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NEXT LEVEL CAR CHASE ENDING
Is this the most insane car chase ending ever? WE THINK IT MIGHT BE THE BEST CAR CHASE ENDING EVER.
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MODESELEKTOR & THOM YORKE – SHIPWRECK
Check out the new Zombie/Halloween inspired video from the collaboration between Modeselektor and Thom Yorke.
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MOVEMBER’S MOUSTACHE MADNESS
To honour Movember 1st 2011 I’ve compiled a collection of what can only be known as the most impressive moustaches the world has ever known, or you know the ones I could find…
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ABERDEEN VS RANGERS
Once billed as the fiercest fixture in Scotland has the Aberdeen vs Rangers encounter finally lost its edge?
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DEATH VS DEATH
Death comes for us all, but who would prevail? Shuffling rag-reanimates or silver-tongued, stake-fearing fang monsters? YOU DECIDE.
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HOW TO MAKE IT IN AMERCA MUSIC VIDEO
Let Luis Guzman take you around New York’s LES and show you the ropes. Meet his friends: Justin Bieber, Mark Wahlberg, Kid Cudi, Bryan Greenberg, Lake Bell, Victor Rasuk, Duck Sauce, Q-Tip, Pharrell Williams, Asher Roth, Pusha T, and many more.
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DOCTOR, DOCTOR- PART 1
On the open ocean, far from home, a storm approaches.
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YOU WANNA PUT IT IN PUDDING, EINSTEIN?
German Flula Hier offers an analysis of an English idiom.
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DUCK SAUCE ‘BIG BAD WOLF’ VIDEO (NSFW)
Amazing new video from the ‘Barbra Streisand’ DJ duo which will without doubt go on to be a viral hit in days to come.
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Pumpkin Carving Like You’ve Never Seen It Before
With Halloween on its way people start carving up those orange gourds, seems that one man is just a damn sight better than the rest of us at it.
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SEEING A 3D MOVIE? USE PROTECTION
A woman has claimed that she became pregnant after seeing a 3D movie.
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WIN TWO TICKETS TO URBAN NERDS X SNOWBOMBING HALLOWEEN PARTY
Urban Nerds return with a bass charged Halloween special and the ultimate new venue, London Bridge’s Crucifix Lane – win two tickets here.
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A PRO-ACTIVE GOLDEN THOUGHT SHOWER
This is a story about being stuck in a depressing office with people you don’t like where you are forced to do repetitive shit you don’t care about. Then you slowly realise that you are wasting your life away.
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WIN TICKETS TO THE REEBOK CLASSIC SECRET PARTY WITH LABRINTH, JACK BEATS & BLUEY ROBINSON
Grab yourself a pair of tickets to this exclusive Reebok Classics party tomorrow night.
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DAVID GUETTA TALKING ABOUT POPPERS, HALFIES AND TROMBONING
The main man David Guetta tells it how it is.
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WONDER WHAT RICK GENEST LOOKS LIKE WITHOUT TATTOOS?
Well wonder no more as we have a video of him being covered up with industrial make-up to show the world what he looked liked before he covered his face in tattoos.
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BLACKBERRY BLACKOUT
On the 11th October 2011 the worst catastrophe the world has ever seen happened. Blackberry services all failed…
