Suck on this.
Believe it or not, 'professional shoplifter' is not a real profession.
Tell it like it is kid.
Of course he does.
You need to read this right now if you're going to the States anytime soon.
Pretty surprising to be honest.
Imagine receiving these messages on a daily basis.
This is absolutely perfect.
It's incredible how well this actually worked.
Can't beat free food.
Facebook is set to become an online graveyard.
He was working as a dog walker at the time.
To be fair it is pretty annoying.
Here's an inspirational quote for you: you're officially dumber than me.
The virtual war has begun.
Another day, another guy who can't keep his junk away from horses.
Sometimes you just have to wonder what the hell people are thinking when they do stuff like this.
You and all your buddies have to ride dinosaurs and live off the land when you find yourself mysteriously stranded on a...
Stills from the video within the post.
It's been eight years since that video came out.
Worst first date ever.
This is brilliant.
I wish I was joking.
Because she's the queen of car crashes, duh.
For those of you who couldn't get online this Christmas - here's who to blame.
For those of you that get anxiety attacks when ordering pizza, there's now an even easy way to order.