It's all your fault.
This is apparently a real thing now.
Egg on his face.
Priced at just £50 a session.
'Had my own on-suite room and butler'.
Jesus Christ stop it.
Great news for anyone out there who values their privacy.
This is surely a sign of the apocalypse.
Does it even have holes?
Faux outrage can be funny sometimes, but this is utterly ridiculous.
Absolutely ruthless but you have to admit, this was some damn good thieving.
Should this man be punished? If so, how?
Get those hankies ready.
That is one serious death stare.
Taking masturbation into the future.
Unsurprisingly this clocks in at about 15 minutes because BBC News seems to be the most unprofessional organisation ever.
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