5) “CAN WE HAVE SOME CHIPS AND A MILKSHAKE PLEASE?”

So you’ve spent half an hour flapping about like a distressed seal, six lengths of the kids pool have been swum and you’re feeling good about yourself. You look downstairs and you’ve lost an inch off your waist and everything is looking more toned than Sally Gunnell’s twat (in the 90s, not now)… so what do you do? You go to the handy poolside cafe and have some chips and a milkshake? WHY DO THEY SELL CHIPS AT SWIMMING POOLS? ANSWER: SO THE SILLY FUCKS NEVER LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP GOING SWIMMING.

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