Why I Hate Wimbledon Tennis

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6. The people who watch the big screen outside the “Murrisons”.

This is actually quite a nice touch. For the first time this year, the people at LoveWimbledon have put up a big screen in the open space in Wimbledon town centre. Around it, they have put a bit of fake grass and some lovely deck chairs. I have been weighing up whether to include this nice little outreach to the local community into this rant very carefully. I was all set to leave the big screen alone until yesterday when I decided to enjoy a bevy or two with some friends on the deckchairs whilst watching the tennis — a nice and civilized day out.

Unfortunately, the Metropolitan Police took exception to our choice of drink in what is normally an alcohol control zone. Choosing to ignore all the posh middle-aged types sitting around sipping Pimms and Proseco, these lovely local bobbies cited a dispersal order on my friends and I for the crime of drinking bottled Stella. Did anyone else in the audience stick up for these three youths in jeans and hoodies who were, after all, only doing what every other person there was doing? Not a chance. Silent as the grave. So everyone watching the tennis there, and their big screen can, in the words of Florence Nightingale, fucking do one.

 

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