Salad Will Trick You

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Studies have shown that people who are trying to slim down and have a salad instead of a proper lunch made of proper food, are fooling themselves. A salad for lunch generally means that you will cheat and eat something worse than you would have done for dinner, undoing all the good work you thought you had done. You will pat yourself on the back whilst you eat the limp salad and then smash down two guilt-free lard burgers with extra cheese for tea.

On top of this counterbalancing that your gut forces you to do, you probably layered your “healthy” salad with pecan nuts, pumpkin seeds and honey mustard, adding an additional 8000 calories. You salad is lying to you. Croutons and cheese for your salad, Sir? Yes, and why not add a couple of ribs too, thanks.

Emma Sturgess of the Guardian describes salads like so:

Nutrition-lite, resource-guzzling, pseudo-healthy food crimes that enable the overconsumption of blue cheese dressing.

Fact.

If you were to eat a salad in McDonalds (which I certainly do not recommend), you might commend yourself for steering away from the burger selection. Look at those limp leaves, that’s got to be healthy, right? Well actually, not necessarily. Some of their salads are over 500 calories which isn’t far off the content in a Big Mac.

Salads LIE. I’ll let Homer and Bart have the final shot across the bow:

If you or anyone you know has been effected by any of the issues raised here today, please call Tony Blair for a full and frank discussion.