Why Eating Salads Is For Losers

Salad Is Ridiculously Annoying To Eat

Image VIA

Limp leaves drenched in vinegar and oil are probably the hardest thing to get into your mouth without looking like a goon. Droopy leaves do not easily succumb to the force of a fork either. You have a roughly 800% chance of ruining your shirt and tie each and every time you eat a salad.

In adverts, people eating salads look like the lady above and this lady here:

Image VIA

But in reality, it’s more like this:

Image VIA

Do not allow salads to get one over on you, choose a steak, or a pie, something that you can carve with a knife and fork and lift to your mouth without incurring a huge dry cleaning bill. Or, wear a bib, the choice is your.