Why Eating Salads Is For Losers

A lot of people think salads are the best. But they are very wrong indeed.

Salad Is Ridiculously Annoying To Eat

Salads Are For Losers - Happy People Eating Salad

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Limp leaves drenched in vinegar and oil are probably the hardest thing to get into your mouth without looking like a goon. Droopy leaves do not easily succumb to the force of a fork either. You have a roughly 800% chance of ruining your shirt and tie each and every time you eat a salad.

In adverts, people eating salads look like the lady above and this lady here:

Salads Are For Losers - Happy People Eating Salad 2

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But in reality, it’s more like this:

Salads Are For Losers - Mr Creosote

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Do not allow salads to get one over on you, choose a steak, or a pie, something that you can carve with a knife and fork and lift to your mouth without incurring a huge dry cleaning bill. Or, wear a bib, the choice is your.

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