Why Eating Salads Is For Losers

A lot of people think salads are the best. But they are very wrong indeed.

Warm Salads?

Salads Are For Losers - Warm Salad

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ABOMINATION. Salads are normally cold and gross, so sometimes people decide to put something warm in there. Warm ingredients are an attempt to trick your mouth and guts into feeling less sad when they are forced to consume a salad. This is a false economy people, warm salads are even grosser than cold ones.

The lettuce goes limp, and generally only parts of the salad are warm, which means your brain gets thrown into some kind of temperature conundrum; this, I have been reliably informed, can end in brain damage and potentially a slow death (over the next 70 years or so).

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