Presents And Food
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Sure, you might not ever wear that jumper or play that audio cassette, but at least it’s free. Anyone that complains about getting free shit is a complete moron.
And food. Yes please. You have carte blanche to eat ALL of the food and drink ALL of the drink. “Oh, but I don’t like turkey”. Fuck off please, it’s pretty much exactly the same as chicken, and any way there’s all the other stuff. Stuffing, for instance, and a literal boat load of gravy.
Those two things combined should be enough to swing any jury in the land.
