If You’ve Ever Felt Hate Towards A Bus Driver, Read This

Bus drivers, it seems, are almost unanimously hated. They are renowned worldwide for being belligerent, miserable, badly groomed fuckers.

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A lot of the time, those descriptions are pretty spot on, but I would like to argue that it is our perception of them that is screwed and that any negativity we fire at them is simply reflected back at us. Basically we are the reason for their misery and consequently, bus drivers, to some extent are simply a mirror of society as a whole.

Before I get started, I want to make it clear that although I fully support bus drivers and their struggle, I still fucking hate buses. Virus-breeding, granny-filled, over-priced misery wagons.

Bus ClientÃ¨le

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To garner a little sympathy for our bus steering brethren, I want you to slip into their foetid size 12 shoes for a moment. Imagine that you had to deal with these sections of humanity in your daily job:

1) Drunk people who don’t want to pay, think they shouldn’t have to pay, want to break things, want to break you and are singing football songs. These drunk people are also having a great time whilst you are still working at shit o’clock at night.

2) Old people. There’s nothing wrong with old people. Many of them are charming characters with oodles of life experience and a crystal-cut wit. Others, however, smell of wee and take 20 to 30 minutes to understand whether this is the correct bus and a further 20 to 30 minutes attempting to retrieve their bus pass from their dog biscuit infested wallet.

3) Children. Fucking shouty, crying children. Children aged 0-5: fucking nightmare wingers wirth stressed out sleep deprived mothers. Children aged 7-12: twats – chewing gum on seats, loud swearing and multifaceted moaning. Children aged 13-18: thinking they’re fresh, ordering their ticket speaking in some kind of mongrel attempt at ghetto speak, even though they’re from Knightsbridge and wearing braces. Awful.

Consider that. Any peripheral rage that a bus driver beams out of his face is a direct representation of the people he has to cater for. Day in day out, the bus driver sees ALL of the fuckers.

Smile at him next time, he won’t reciprocate, but that’s because WE have made him hate the world.

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