8) Jewel — Hands
“My hands are small I know, but they’re not yours, they are my own”
Here’s an award winner for stating the obvious. What is she even trying to say? I guess I could read the lyrics to the whole song and work it out but I don’t know if I have the time. Plus: I’d rather disembowel myself with a chipmunk than read any more of her tripe.
9) Aerosmith — I don’t Want To Miss A Thing
“I’ll kiss your eyes and thank God we’re together”
Much like Nickleback, there’s nothing to like about Aerosmith. Sure they did some classics in the past but where is the glory now? The only real difference between Aerosmith and Nickleback is that their front-man looks like a plastic surgery accident in Area 51 and they’ve been peddling their shoddy wares for what seems like a millennium.
10) Selena Gomez — I love You Like A Love Song
“I love you like a love song, baby”
Kill me. I bet whoever wrote those lyrics has a lot of meetings about meetings and reads books about books.
11) Def Leppard — Pour Some Sugar On Me
“Do you take sugar? One lump or two?”
At least Def Leppard don’t pretend to be deep I guess?
12) Victoria Beckham — This Groove
“I want you to come and listen to my body sing, Ya wanna hear my bell ring – biddy-bong-bing”
Ahhh… the Beckham family, the last bastion of high brow family entertainment. Well done Vicky B.
13) Bob Seger — Charging From The Gate
“Like a rock, chargin’ from the gate”
Last time I looked rocks pretty much just sat still?
14) Beatles — Whilst My Guitar Gently Weeps
“I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping. Still my guitar gently weeps”
The Beatles: classic band, progenitors of modern pop. Genius song writers. Personally I don’t rate them, but what do I know? Anyhow, that is a crap line.
