10) Oldest Johnny

Looks comfy doesn’t it? This reusable prophylactic dates back to 1640 and was found in Sweden. The item even came with instructions written in Latin. It advised you to wash it with warm milk to prevent others catching STDs. How very modern.

This rubber is actually made of pig guts. The intestine johnny actually survived long into the latex age because of some people’s allergic reaction to the latter. Later it was found to be useless in protecting against AIDS and it rapidly went out of fashion.

So there we go people, we ain’t so different from the ancients after all. We all wear socks and shoes and johnnies and play the flute etc. I’m off to find a worm hole so I can jet back in time and hang out with that cool tattooed Siberian stoner.