This Mum Got A Ruler Tattoo So She Can Measure Penis Sizes Before Sex

Meet London-based vegan influencer Tracy Kiss. The 34-year-old mum believes size matters and she’s got the tattoo to prove it! Specifically, a ruler down down her forearm so she can accurately measure the length of her prospective partners’ penises.

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Tracy – who has a 14-year-old daughter – says she’s looking for a well-endowed boyfriend, and her new body art is “a practical design and tool to enhance my life.”

The tattoo doesn’t include any numbers, instead featuring “pretty dots” that are spaced an inch apart up her arm.

As it doesn’t have numbers, it’s actually rather discreet and allows me to innocently reach up to stroke a man’s stomach whilst taking a glance at my arm alongside it to count the inches.

It’s something people may not think about when shaking my hand and won’t look out of place in a nursing home when I’m 90 but will always put a smile on my face and twinkle in my eye.

Smart! Though for some reason, Tracy blatantly lied to all our faces when being interviewed by the NY Post:

It’s not all about size, it’s what you do with it and how your partner makes you feel when building an intimate connection, but for those who enjoy finer details, it really is the cherry on the cake for me!

It’s not all about size, but let me just get a ruler tattooed down my arm to make sure a man measures up before deciding to shag him. She also initially BS’d her daughter over the design:

Kiss’ teenage daughter initially believed the tattoo was designed to measure bananas and cucumbers before she finally clocked what the erotic inking was actually for.

Now that would actually be more insane than the real reason she got the ink done. Although I’m not why she had to take the dots all the way down to her elbow? Nobody’s penis is the size of an entire forearm, is it? I mean most men aren’t even making it past her bracelet.

Tracy’s not stopping there either – she wants her next tattoo to be able to measure a man’s girth:

I am rather tempted to add some dots from my thumb to my index finger to measure girth at the same time but I’m not sure if it would be too obvious what I’m doing. I guess it all depends on where somebody is looking when I whip it out to count!

Might as well go all-in with it I suppose…