4. Children Will Freak Out When They See You And Possibly Cry

While adults will treat you as a curiosity, the young mind is not yet developed enough to process your disturbing version of a human being. You will simply overload their delicate minds as they fail to understand your appearance and eventually burst into tears.

Super Synthol hunk Romario Dos Santos Alves recounts an episode with a young fan in his hometown of Goiania, Brazil:

One time I was working in a catholic church and a woman came up to me and said that her 12-year-old daughter wouldn’t come in because she was afraid of me.

Shocking. Kids are usually completely safe in Catholic churches.