LIFE

5 Things You Need To Know Before Using Synthol

If you’re even thinking about taking Synthol, make sure you read these first.

I presume you thought the best way to get big arms and a ripped chest was through rigorous training sessions, discipline and good old-fashioned hard work, right? Wrong. Hard work is for pussies; the best way to get jacked is to just pump oil into your arms and shoulders until it hurts. Thank god for Synthol and its awesome ability to transform borderline mental cases into big greasy monstrosities. But it’s not all chicks, pool parties and minor celebrity, oh no, the Synthol look takes dedication. Just when you think you can’t squeeze anymore chemical goo into your engorged bicep, just keep squeezing son because Synthol plays for keeps.

Here are 5 harsh realities that come with the Synthol life, but remember — no pain, no (fake) gain.

5. EVERYONE Is Taking The Piss Out Of You

Synthol 1

When you take Synthol, expect a lot of fans. There’s going to be regular impromptu pose downs for photos and videos so people can show you off to their buddies. All that pointing and staring in the street? Just admiration for your athletic achievements bro.

Ok maybe not everyone thinks you look awesome. In fact, you’re more of a walking curiosity than anything else, kind of like if the elephant man was able to shuffle his tumors into a more aesthetic layout. Unlike the elephant man, there’s not actually anything wrong with you (physically speaking) so people will feel more than comfortable approaching you for a quick snap.

The good thing is you probably won’t even realise you’re being mocked because you’ll genuinely believe you’ve got em’ all fooled.

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