1) Women Finds Jesus In Bruise
Where did she find the son of God? In a bruise on her foot of course you idiot. This is how the “miracle” occurred:
She fell down the stairs and got loads of bruising, it was sore so she asked her fiancé to rub it with some dirt he’d brought back from the nearby holy Chimayo Catholic shrine. That should do the trick. But instead of it completely healing the injury (like a proper miracle) it turned the bruise into the shape of Jesus himself, or Papa Smurf depending on how you squint at it.
Quite unbelievably this story managed to get on the news. I was going to say it must have been a slow news day, but there is literally never a slow news day really. There’s no excuses.
[TEST url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDsq91JgjPE’]
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