FOOTBALL

Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football League — Week 14 Roundup

No one got the sack this week. Southampton’s Goalie has a ‘mare. Rafa doesn’t want Chelsea to score. If your club is from Manchester they will win. If your club is called QPR – there is a chance that not even Harry can save you.

Sick Chirpse fantasy football

Chirpsers. What’s happening. Everyone enjoy the cheeky little midweek Prem games? Everyone at Sick Chirpse certainly did.

The fixtures went prety much as we expected them to with no major upsets coming about…but at least this week no more managers have been sacked, well so far at least, as a couple of unhappy Liverpool fans were unjustly asking for Rodger’s head. There were a couple of big point scorers this week and it seems that a lot of the top boys in the league jumped on board of this in a big way.  Only manager in the top ten to bottle this week was Alex Prince as him team slip to 10th and are on the verge of slowly slipping down the league. Another good week for Trem’s Trash see them gaining further on the top two and they’re now only a point off 2nd place Tom Sands and his Prison Break FC.  For the top boy of the league you gotta look no further than 15th place in the league as Dave Williams’ Muffin Stuffers knock together a cheeky 50 points to put him in with a shout of the top ten if he keeps his game up.

Here’s the Premiership football results for the midweek:

Tue 27 Nov 2012 – Premier League

Wed 28 Nov 2012 – Premier League

BIG HITTERS

Couple of big hitters this week and I suppose out of them you’d only really expect to see Gareth Bale to hit the dizzy heights, although ironically you’d have expected him to be in the big shitters after his own goal on Wednesday night. He may have only emassed 6 points on Wednesday for his goal and assist after he got the ball booted in his face leaving Liverpool with a cheeky goal away from home at White Hart Lane – but he still completely ran the game. If Bale hasn’t already made it into your fantasy league team you’d be stupid to leave him out, especially if it’s only cos you hate AVB.

Two of the other big hitters on the list were Johnny Walters and Cameron Jerome. Johnny has been a bit part player this year but has still managed to get himself up to the 50 point mark, including 10 points in an all out display to set the Britannia Stadium alight and see off the Geordies. Cameron Jerome did his best to dispell any rumours of a move to Blackburn with a cheeky goal and a 9 point haul to get himself into the big hitter category of the week also. However, the big props of the week go to Swansea City and Premier League journeyman Wayne Routeledge, who managed to bag himself 2 goals and the big point haul of the week to help take Swansea to 8th in the league. He might just get involved again on the weekend when the Swans make a trip to the Emirates for low scoring Arsenal.

BIG SHITTERS

Paulo Dino Gazzaniga is a 6ft5 youthful giant of the goalkeeping world and was signed in the summer by the Saints in the hope of one day becoming a great goalkeeper – that day was not Wednesday night. Leading 1-0 thanks to a Lambert goal as we predicted last week (Week 13 Roundup) Snodgrass lofted a 25 yard free kick into the box. The Saints’ fans looked on as the third keeper Southampton have used this season after Kelvin Davis and Artur Boruc decided to let the ball ghost under him. Southampton were on their way to a third win in a row and possibly a rise to 15th in the league but they were unduly halted by old Paulo. He didn’t have a terrible game otherwise but in a week of good play from the majority of the league somebody has to take the fall. We were tempted to pick on Benitez but we’re finding that the Chelsea faithful are doing that for us so there is no need – BUT – if they don’t manage at least a goal away at Upton Park he will undoubtedly get a mention next week.

Fixtures on the first weekend of December look like this:

Sat 1 Dec 2012 – Premier League

Sun 2 Dec 2012 – Premier League

Mon 3 Dec 2012 – Premier League

  • Newcastle v Wigan 20:00

Predictions for this weekend:

Andy Carroll takes some times off from being a smut star to remind Chelsea of the trouble he caused them in a Liverpool shirt last FA Cup Final, however, it is not enough to fvck with Rafa’s plan as Chelsea come out 1-2 winners. Arsenal continue to struggle as Michu gives them some trouble and cancels out Cazorla’s early goal. Fulham trudge away and let Berba do the talking against AVB’s Spurs as the two play out a draw. Liverpool bring some pride back to Anfield (just about) as they work hard to get a 2-1 victory against a tenacious Southampton team who replace their goalkeeper from midweek after he gets a mention in Sick Chirpse’s big shitter column. Everton play hard and Fellaini proves his worth against a top class side as  they battle their way to a score draw at the Etihad – Kompany VS Fellaini proves to be one of the conquests of the season. QPR host Villa in battle of the dog shit – as Harry’s Hoops take the 8 point gap between them and Lambert’s boys down to a mere 5 after they claim all  three points – could Harry’s Dream XI do any better? West Brom battle back to winning ways against a less than average Stoke side. Man Utd come from behind to dispell any hope Reading have of turning their season around. Rooney masterclass to boot. Norwich and Sunderland is a suprising goal fest as Snodgrass and Johnson take the plaudits for earning a draw a piece. Finally Monday night football is back with a bang and so are the Toon’s winning ways as they take Wigan apart bit by bit 3 goals to 1 courtesy of the African alliance up top – big ups for Ba and Cisse.

Here’s how the league stands going into the week that could change it all at the top:

Sick Chirpse

League PIN: 8009937

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POS Manager Team name Total points Week pts Starting
XI pts
Starting
XI pos
Goals Goal Pos Overall Position
1 Tom Shipley Apocalypse Dudes 582 41 485 23439 42 959 7495
2 Tom Sands Prison Break FC 562 46 485 23439 35 16426 16113
3 Shane Tremlin Trems Trash 561 48 419 112830 28 86792 16661
4 Huw Barker HavantGotAClueVille 546 35 550 1114 36 11769 27736
5 Gavin Rapaport Poo 541 35 448 65771 32 38357 32283
6 Huw E Dynamo Kebab 530 40 435 86048 27 101280 44152
7 Emma Craig The Only Way Is Emma 528 47 449 64277 26 115981 46629
7 Johnny Callow Room 362 528 42 468 39871 29 73068 46629
9 Luke Skidmore bunchofslugs 523 32 437 82787 32 38357 52885
10 Alex Prince Prince Boatengs 517 27 441 76524 31 48611 60861
11 Dave Ward Pimp My Side 509 38 469 38733 29 73068 72255
12 Drew Walsh Real SocieLAD 506 41 461 48064 28 86792 76694
13 Michael Magee Mickey T FC 505 24 506 10484 29 73068 78184
14 Matthew Stewart FC Boosh 503 43 430 94172 30 60235 81197
15 David Williams Muffin stuffers 497 50 495 16374 29 73068 90575
15 Jeff Ingle Jeffentus 497 40 354 202331 28 86792 90575
17 James Martin Tourist Attraction 491 28 491 19019 25 130981 100057
18 AlexanderMark Jones Dunblane Massacres 489 34 363 193715 28 86792 103334
19 Trevor Brenson RJBs XI 488 19 488 21088 25 130981 104798
20 Nikul Patani Brown Bear United 487 30 487 21875 31 48611 106334
21 Terry Buckingham Real Madras 486 36 415 119580 28 86792 107952
22 Bobby Peliza bObbyDazzlers 482 34 409 129729 28 86792 114161
23 Nicky Greenhow Boomerwanger 481 41 336 215586 25 130981 115733
24 Mark Endicott Real Madreadfull 480 32 350 205759 27 101280 117355
25 Peter Jones Joner 479 40 427 99297 23 159656 118918
26 Ben Lawson spunkin FC 476 37 444 71888 26 115981 123443
26 Ross Stearny stearnpots barmyarmy 476 30 449 64277 24 145638 123443
28 Ryan Addams Fish fillet 474 38 322 222704 26 115981 126469
29 Redwan Elharrak Real Talk 473 23 473 34398 24 145638 127990
30 Robbie Atkinson diables Rouges 472 35 358 198728 26 115981 129429
31 Anthony Ford 4 Dimensions 471 27 360 196811 24 145638 130903
32 Charlie Hey tiki taka jazz cats 470 24 470 37648 29 73068 132382
33 Piers Dixon Dixon Balls FC 468 38 495 16374 21 185430 135429
33 Ryan Williams Dirty Buffalo 468 38 399 145899 23 159656 135429
33 William Rowe Keefy’s Krunchers 468 21 448 65771 32 38357 135429
36 Dan Filer ClubTropicanaDrinkFC 467 34 467 41039 25 130981 136928
37 smart les lemon peng-win 463 26 463 45660 25 130981 142631
38 Thomas Foley Unbelievable Crisps 459 34 391 158244 24 145638 148310
39 Blake Walton Walton Wonders 457 33 457 53200 20 196990 151134
40 Martyn Aeissame Gratuitous FC 455 41 394 153712 21 185430 153887
41 Billy Mclean Barcemoaner 454 30 386 165611 27 101280 155193
42 Jon McLeish Bayern Bru 453 31 430 94172 22 172924 156521
42 Neil Williams Lumpers and Kickers 453 21 402 141089 25 130981 156521
44 Ben Rowland Atheist FC 452 33 383 169718 27 101280 157830
45 Tim Williams TIMW_BRAP KILLAS 449 27 384 168362 28 86792 161814
45 Daniel Ostridge Ajax Treesdown 449 25 450 62852 22 172924 161814
47 Lee Walsh KeansaKunt 446 43 329 219482 31 48611 165598
47 James Blundell Blundells boys 446 25 372 183700 26 115981 165598
49 Richard Dulieu Dyslexic CF 445 15 445 70302 20 196990 166815
50 Anthony Ward Park Ji Wonders 442 38 402 141089 22 172924 170507
51 Ross Williams Tepee Town FC 441 23 436 84452 21 185430 171763
51 Shaun Williams The Galacticos 441 26 452 60001 17 224142 171763
53 David Hewitt football 434 44 414 121390 22 172924 180054
54 Sam MartinRoss Martin-Boss 433 28 282 232670 26 115981 181168
55 Patrick Grayson real aycliffe 431 19 431 92512 22 172924 183369
56 Louis Day Spews Stars 430 29 430 94172 23 159656 184439
57 Ashley Townsend 1 MANNING 1 CUP 427 37 297 230256 23 159656 187685
57 Nick Randles Quallo 427 23 427 99297 16 230714 187685
59 Dean Webster Blues 423 28 395 152220 21 185430 191703
59 Elliott Henderson Barsenal 423 17 389 161293 21 185430 191703
61 Toby Dennett Dennethinaikos 421 26 468 39871 16 230714 193650
62 Christopher Davies T Dogg’s Ball Hoggs 420 33 332 217947 18 216147 194636
63 Alex Taylor leave-my-arse-a-lona 418 36 362 194769 26 115981 196470
63 Aaron Hicks Proud’s Prodders 418 30 414 121390 21 185430 196470
65 Sam Lister inter thevan 417 33 424 104450 20 196990 197375
66 John Twinn Pav FC 411 36 393 155248 20 196990 202587
66 Matt Morris Morris FC 411 22 411 126433 21 185430 202587
68 Max Sheppard Fred West Ham 410 35 356 200567 22 172924 203439
69 Daniel Guy Dans witwickys 408 23 408 131366 17 224142 205031
69 Mohamed Hussein Why Always Me FC 408 21 377 177675 16 230714 205031
71 Jamie Sadur Skid Mark 404 26 401 142702 20 196990 208179
72 James Roberts WOOPWOOP United 402 36 406 134586 11 249360 209773
73 Danny Sharpe Team Sharpey 401 29 401 142702 22 172924 210502
74 Nick Reid OnOne United 399 21 399 145899 20 196990 211969
74 John Ryan Obi – 1 Kanobi – 0 399 12 399 145899 20 196990 211969
76 Alex Crawshaw Crawshaw’s Commies 396 17 372 183700 23 159656 214072
77 Maxwell Hughes maxibon united 395 30 410 128070 19 207179 214764
78 Michael Sinfield FC Scorgasm 393 21 393 155248 21 185430 216127
79 Luke Henderson Luke Ronald FC 389 16 369 187132 21 185430 218741
80 Richard Gilbert Queefstars 383 21 383 169718 19 207179 222265
81 Nestor Schischka The Winning One 382 41 354 202331 13 244363 222843
81 James Tootill BigDonFC 382 27 370 185981 13 244363 222843
81 Christian Adofo The Mandem 382 24 382 171101 23 159656 222843
84 Daniel Haviland Warriors 381 9 381 172414 14 240725 223399
85 Daniel Watson SirBobWouldBeProud 379 14 342 211694 15 236241 224533
86 Jack Hopwood FC Kaiser 374 33 357 199687 15 236241 227165
87 John Hawkins Mmmmcustard 372 33 344 210344 19 207179 228143
88 Luke Wyborn The Wombles 371 24 332 217947 19 207179 228639
89 Steve French French FC 364 32 364 192575 15 236241 231717
90 Mark Guy butchys tanks 359 18 356 200567 21 185430 233792
91 Josh Watkins bluesbrother 358 19 358 198728 14 240725 234206
92 Dave Bunker Team Bunker 351 17 267 234274 23 159656 236709
93 Theodore Morgan DangALangTime 336 32 336 215586 20 196990 241255
93 David Armitage Real Betties 336 24 336 215586 16 230714 241255
95 Craig Abbs Team abber 335 8 335 216255 17 224142 241535
96 Wes Holden Green FC 334 31 334 216857 14 240725 241793
97 Tyler Casey 50 Shades Of Goals 331 25 331 218504 10 250995 242524
98 Tomn Pitts Gareth Keenan Troops 329 20 329 219482 12 247139 242958
99 Nick Bourne Greenham Royals 292 22 292 231190 11 249360 248811
100 Matthew Hurley 12fort 263 18 263 234598 15 236241 251224

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