It was the second day of the Rebekah Vardy/Colleen Rooney ‘Wagatha Christie’ court case yesterday and in the absence of Johnny Depp/Amber Heard content this week, we’ve had to turn to that to get our courtroom action fix.
Featured Image VIA
Sadly, it’s not quite the same as there isn’t anything as salacious as in the Depp/Heard trial, with most of what happened yesterday revolving around Whatsapps between Vardy and her agent where they bitch about everyone they know, talk about leaking stories to the press and call Colleen Rooney a cunt for unfollowing Vardy on Instagram. High drama.
However, one aspect of the trial that has captured the public’s imagination is the fact that because you’re not allowed to televise courtroom proceedings in this country we have to rely on artist sketches – and that the artist on duty repeatedly draws Wayne Rooney to look like a potato or Shrek. Get a load of these:
He’s not really given us the best side of our Wayne there has he? In fairness though, the Roonmeister does look kinda like Shrek or a potato when you just check out a regular photograph of him wearing a suit at the trial anyway:
Ooft – can’t really unsee that now once it’s been said can you? Needless to say, social media has not been kind with everyone taking to Twitter to make jokes about how the legendary England striker looks like one of their favourite vegetables:
The court sketch artist has actually made Wayne Rooney look like a cross between Mike Tyson and a potato! #vardyvrooney pic.twitter.com/dLQeBfFXXs
— Richard Hodge (@87hodgie) May 11, 2022
Who the hell is the court artist? Who thought Wayne Rooney was in fact a jacket potato 😂
— Paul Welbourne (@paulwelbourne1) May 11, 2022
Wayne Rooney doesn’t look like a potato but he does look like a rich retired footballer who enjoys shagging grandmothers #JeremyVine
— István Vilmos 🏴🇵🇱🇭🇺 (@moldovia) May 12, 2022
It’s tough out there isn’t it? Score the most goals ever for your country, absolutely kill it in the Premier League for about 15 years, almost manage to keep Derby in the Championship despite a massive points reduction and all anyone on the internet cares about is the fact that you now look a bit like a potato because you’re old, fat and bored because your dumb wife is involved in a stupid trial that resembles a storyline from a show like ‘Gossip Girl’ and you can’t do anything except reluctantly sit there and show your silent support, despite knowing how vacuous and thick headed the whole situation is. Give the guy a break, it can’t be easy for him having to put up with this crap for the last three years. No wonder he looks like a potato.
For more of the same, check out the 9 footballers most likely to have been blackmailed for £30,000 by a transgender prostitute. Who’s your money on?
