CHIRPSES

Why Screwing The Boss Will Bite You In The Ass

Office Sex

Every girl has considered fvcking the boss to get ahead right? Well here’s why it doesn’t work.

Office Sex

Doesn’t it just seem like a Cinderella story? Girl meets older, richer and more powerful man. Girl fucks older, richer and more powerful man. Girl therefore becomes richer and more powerful, but thankfully not a whole lot older.

In today’s economy there has been a boom in gold diggers and frankly I, as a woman and a feminist, don’t blame them. There aren’t any jobs, no. There isn’t any money, no. So why the hell shouldn’t women use everything in their arsenal to get ahead? Fact is, it may be only one step away from prostitution in terms of morals, but on the social ladder and the business ladder it could get you a hell of a lot steps higher.

Now that you know my stance on the subject theoretically, I want to tell you the logistical problems which I could see arising from jumping into bed with the first suited up man who employees you.  So for your absolute pleasure I have devised my list of don’t for when you’re fvcking the boss.

1. Work never stops

For self made men or corporate slaves, work is literally their life. Believe it or not, that is how they made their hard earned cash. But do you really want to be lying post-coitus talking about the stock exchange? Worse still, do you want to not be lying at all but jumping up to answer your bosse’s emails, because he is too tired from doing you?

2. You will never be equal

You may be banging the guy for years, attending events and even weddings, but you will still always be that girl who jumped into bed with him less than a month into her job. He won’t marry you, so you won’t be getting half of what’s his. He will have complete control over you, as both your boss and the wealthier lover, so you will never have a say in any aspect of your life.

3. Powerful men are compensating

Just a hunch, but a man who had to earn six figures before he could get you probably had his reasons. I have this fear of powerful men. I fear that the more powerful they are the smaller their penis. I haven’t researched this extensively, but really, what are they trying to compensate for?

4.  The office will know you’re a slut

When people find out they will call you a slut and you will have no reason to claim otherwise. Of course, you could always pull the ‘love’ lie out of the bag when questioned, but is that really worth it?  They will know you’re lying and it will only make the situation worse when the boss-man freaks out because he thinks you’re hear wedding bells.

5. Work + pleasure = more work

Mixing work with pleasure only leads to work taking over your life. It is a problem when all you have inside and outside of the office is work on the brain. You need other social circles to mix in and if all you’re doing is hanging with the boss you may just go a little stir-crazy.

So there you have it; the not so obvious reasons you shouldn’t bother boning your boss on Friday night. I know times are hard girls, but really that is a last resort. I would only suggest it if you think you might be about to get fired. And even then only if he is a stud.


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