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Gary Lineker Just Got Ambushed By Swarms Of STD-Infected Ladybirds

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Normal.

In what might be one of the weirdest stories this year, Gary Lineker has been attacked by a swarm of ladybirds from overseas that are thought to be infected with STDs that could wipe out the UK’s native species.

Featured Image VIA

The footballer turned crisps expert tweeted that he had been ambushed by the bugs just days after experts had warned that this species carries threatening STDs.

https://twitter.com/GaryLineker/status/791969945181495296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Lineker was soon warned online about the dangers of this type of bug. One wrote:

Are you sure it was ladybirds? Sounds more like harlequin ladybirds, their nasty cousins. Feel free to kill them.

While another said:

They are possibly harlequin ladybirds.

Numbers are high at the moment but this time of year when ladybirds group together to shelter for winter.

Harlequin ladybirds

Image VIA

You’ve been warned people. Apparently the bugs carry Laboulbeniales, which is a fungal disease that can be passed on through intercourse. You can tell them apart from UK ladybirds by their wings, which are black with red spots rather than vice versa.

So if you see one of these guys, maybe just shoo it out of the house before it brings along its mates and you wind up in the same situation as Lineker. Just be sure to give it a couple of Johnnies too – we don’t want them to keep passing around their STDs.

There seems to be a lot of bug issues in the UK this year. If it’s not STD riddled ladybirds, it’s unemployed, drunk wasps having a go. Can you just chill the fuck out please nature?


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