CHIRPSES

The British Public Are Really Stupid

Depressing but unsurprising new evidence reveals most people in this country are every bit as hysterical, gullible and easily-led as you feared.

Old People

8 Demographics

Perception: Thirty-six per cent of the population are over 65. So many old people, why aren’t they dead yet? Get out of the way so I can buy myself another Samsung Galaxy!

Reality: Sixteen per cent of the population are over 65. We are still a young nation. Also, be nice to old people, they deserve it and kindness costs nothing.

Immigrants

7 Immigration And Ethnicity

Perception: Thirty-one per cent of people in the UK are immigrants, and black and Asian people make up 30 per cent of the population. See?! The EDL were right!!!

Reality: Thirteen per cent of people in the UK are immigrants, and black and Asian people make up 11 per cent of the population. See? The EDL are fucking out-of-touch morons. They also have really small penises.

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