Here’s A List Of Things You 100% Don’t Want To Know



‘There are some third world countries where the younger men suck older mens’ dicks because they believe the cum will make them more manly. EDIT: learned from a Psychology textbook’

‘I learned about this as well, the Toro Etoro people tribe in PNG I believe does this.

They believe that the life essence is in the Ejaculate (cum semen) and that to waste it is horrible (women who don’t get pregnant are thought of as horrible and wicked, life stealing). They also steal children from surrounding tribes if their numbers are getting low.

Children will commonly sodomize themselves or perform oral sex on each other, not just older men. However when you are older it is considered a duty to provide the “life force” to the younger ones. It is consensual and they don’t have rape, seeing as they look upon this as good and do it all the time.’

Ok maybe it’s not just the animal kingdom that astounds me because I can’t believe that people actually think that this makes sense and will achieve anything.

‘Put a piece of fruit in a sealed jar, and you’ll have fruit flies hatch inside as it rots.

Yes. The fruit you eat is full of fruit fly eggs.’

I guess I can cross fruit off the menu too, along with visits tot he swimming pool.

☛ More Flies: Flies Getting Pissed 

fruit flies

‘A popular process for constructing a neovagina(part of sexual reassignment surgery) consists of splitting your penis lengthways, shoving it right on back up into your groin, shaving your scrotum skin back until the hair cells are gone, and tossing that in there too. Before this, though, a small strip of the penis is left out, with a chunk of the head being made into a pseudo clitoris.

Oh, and they tear it when they have a chance, not cut. It’s actually better for you.

Enjoy the imagery, fellas.’

I already knew about this but it doesn’t make it any less grim. It just sounds like torture to me but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

‘While in the Marines, I met a Sgt that was one of the first guys into Saddam’s castle. There was a torture room with a locker full of VHS tapes. We eventually got him to tell us what he saw, and he started telling us about a woman getting raped with a power drill. I tapped out. I didn’t want to know anymore. He was like, “I told you you wouldn’t want to know.’

I’ve heard about this before too, but that doesn’t make the image any less appealing.

‘The germs present in human feces can pass through at least ten layers of toilet paper. Wash your hands, people.’

Ugh. Gonna have to start ripping off more sheets of toilet paper and folding them now.

‘Camels experience this thing called dribble ejaculation, where it just slowly comes out for about 2 hours.’

This poses more questions that it answers. Does the camel just walk around dribbling for two hours? And is he having an orgasm for two hours? Or does he remain in the female for all that time. Must be kind of boring for the female. It sounds better than the sex life of bed bugs and otters though.


‘Did you ever wonder if your mom gave your dad a blowjob right before she kissed you goodnight?’

I had never thought about that ever but now it’s all I’m probably going to think about for the rest of my life.

‘there are alot of people mainly kids in northern columbia who frequently have sex with donkeys. Kids will do this when their young girlfriends wont put out, and it is culturally accepted by most of the people in that area’

I knew this before as well, it doesn’t make it any less weird though. I would be wishing so hard that girls would put out if I was growing up in Colombia.

‘In the military, you are more likely to get raped or commit suicide than you are likely to die in battle.



Documentary The Invisible War

That’s surprisingly depressing.

‘Girls can push poop out of their butts by inserting their fingers into the vagina and ‘pushing’ it out using said fingers. Thanks reddit :(‘

Is this actually true? Why can’t girls just poop normally why would they even need to use this method?

‘Burnt bodies often smell like pork, and when forensic scientists have to work on them out in the field, a common sentiment among them is that the smell makes them start to salivate and feel hungry.’

Probably explains why so many cops like BBQ food.


‘You don’t want to know how many child molesters work at universal studios. A lot of them. Sex with a 15 year old in the parking lot. Sex with a 14 year old in the back of a store. Found with a half naked 7 year old boy with his sister 2 feet away watching. Kids’ used underwear found in a locker. That’s just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head.

And its not just universal. Any theme park is full of them. It’s an easy way to get in close proximity to kids.

Parents, please. Before you go into the park, take a picture of your kid. Their clothes and their shoes. Take a sharpie and write your cell phone number on their arm. Use a leash. I’d rather people make fun of the crazy mom with a kid as a pet than turn around and have them missing.

And for fucks sake, if you have a stroller you’re leaving in front of the ride you’re on, don’t leave your Louis Vuitton purse on top of it and go on the 30+ minute ride. You are an idiot.’

Ugh. At least I don’t have kids so I don’t have to worry about this but that is a seriously depressing fact.

‘Nirvana’s Nevermind came out in 1991, making it closer in time to the moon landing than today.’

This is depressing even if you weren’t into Nirvana at the time.

‘There’s a parasite that eats a fish’s tongue and sits where its tongue would have been.’

How the hell does a fish even deal with that? Does it know about this or is it completely fooled? That parasite is a sneaky one.

‘Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel is about his penis.’

I thought it was about a detective or a lawyer or something? Whatever that TV show was about anyway.

‘In many public bathrooms, there is very little air flow except for the occasional door open. Air in these bathrooms becomes very saturated with piss and poop that goes airborne when the toilet is flushed. When you use the air hand dryers instead of paper towels, all of that piss and poop is flowing right onto your clean hands’

I had just got over my aversion of public toilets. Now it’s back. Great.

‘You can get penis gangrene. Only choice is to excise dead tissue. Google images are available.’

I Google a lot of gross stuff writing for Sick Chirpse, but I am 100% not Googling that.

☛ Read Next: The Creepiest Things Young Children Say To Their Parents



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