Flies Getting Pissed

Flies may be disgusting creatures, but it turns out they aren’t that different to us after all. When a fit girl turns them down, they turn to drink as well.

I’ve always thought flies were rank creatures. The way they rub their spindly little legs together, sucking the moisture/decaying shit from them, thumping and crashing into windows as they desperately try to get back outside so they can gorge on the insides of some dead pigeon, making that really annoying bzzzzzzzing sound as they fly around you, trying to sprinkle some of their hideously grotesque germs on your Greggs pasty really used to make me want to crush them, obliterate them with a newspaper or something. Wouldn’t use Page 3, though.

However, it’s come to light that perhaps I shouldn’t hate flies as much as I do anymore. Scientists have found out that they’re not that different to humans, really. Okay, we haven’t got wings and some of us don’t find eating shit as gratifying as we should, and nor is our average lifespan a matter of days. What does make us similar to flies, though, (especially with us guys) is that after the male flies have tried to chat up some fit girl fly but have failed and haven’t managed to get a sneaky BJ off them, they turn to drink. This is more true than with a fruit fly than any other  type of fly as apparently they’ve got an unquenchable sex drive. A bit like Jodie Marsh. Mind you, if you only lived a few days, you’d want to shag like fvck as well wouldn’t you?

As the spurned bloke-fly gets over being rejected he’ll use alcohol as a substitute and get shitfaced – all of us have been there, haven’t we? Unless you’re a beautiful man who turns women wet the moment they set eyes on you. Scientists reckon they can use this action of the flies to explore our dependency issues and could give them a better understanding of how addiction works in humans.

Turns out flies aren’t so useless.

This video‘s from a few years back but shows the flies with their beloved drink.

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