Here’s A List Of Things You 100% Don’t Want To Know



‘Girls born in 1995 are now doing porn.’

That one is probably the most depressing one on this list. Completely rank.

‘When a calf is born, a few disgusting things can happen. Sometimes, when the heifer is having her first calf, the calf is too big to be delivered by itself, so the cow will walk around with a conscious calf’s head sticking out of her vagina. If this isn’t found quickly enough, the calf can die (as you might imagine, a tight vagina isn’t the easiest place to breath). If the calf is found, then sometimes, if you can’t do it by hand, you have to hook chains to its front legs and pull it out the rest of the way. I assisted with my first delivery of this type when I was about 6 years old. On even more rare occasions, even a couple of farm sized men aren’t strong enough to pull the calf, and a block & tackle is brought in which multiplies the applied force 4x. When you need to pull this hard, it can do some very nasty things to the cow’s vagina, and to the calf.

I’ll let your imagination dwell on that.’

It sounds like animals have it way worse than humans when it comes to giving birth.

☛ More Cows: Killer Cows Are On The Loose

Cow And Calf

‘A male bedbug reproduces by grabbing a female and stabbing her through the exoskeleton with his dagger-like penis to inject sperm directly into her bloodstream.

It’s called traumatic insemination. Seriously.

But it gets even worse:

  • Female bed bugs have evolved a special sperm receptacle under their exoskeleton to collect sperm deposited this way. It’s called the spermalege.

  • Bedbugs don’t have particularly good vision, so males sometimes do it to other males.

  • Sometimes a male of one species of bedbug will do this to a female (or male) another species of bedbug. In that case, it tends to cause a fatal immune reaction in the recepient.

  • Females left in colonies with large numbers of males tend to die at an alarming rate. Essentially, they get gang-raped to death.’

Again, this sounds like animals – or bugs- have it way worse than humans when it comes to issues like rape. This just sounds beyond brutal really and not the kind of world I would ever want to live in.

‘During the act of anal fisting, the insertive partner can feel the receptive partner’s heartbeat.’

Or perhaps not. That is a completely outrageous fact. Nobody wants to feel a heartbeat on their fist when they’re pumping it.

‘Certified Pool Operator here,

Not sure how relevant this will be, but parasites found in common diarrhea samples can live in many types of environments for a VERY long time. For instance, if little Billy gets diarrhea in the neighborhood pool, the parasites in that stool will be in the water for at least 1-2 weeks, even though the water is chlorinated. I’m not talking about annoying, nose-running bacteria, I’m talking intestinal parasites. If you EVER see someone have diarrhea in pool water, don’t think about entering.

On top of that, pool water is really just a mild clorox solution that’s strong enough to kill most of what it comes in contact with but without being harmful to the body. There are kinds of fluids, bacteria and other goodies in pool water. The key thing I tell folks about pool water; it’s technically sanitary, but it’s gross.

Obligatory sidenote: if you’re sick and have diarrhea, do everyone a favor and stay out of swimming areas. Also, please thoroughly wash your hands. Diarrhea contains parasites regular stool does not.’

Oh man. Never going swimming again. Except maybe in the sea, although that’s probably even grosser.

☛ More Swimming Pools: There Are Way Too Many People In This Chinese Swimming Pool 

swimming pool turd

‘The number of patients coming into a hospitals with strange items lodged in their rectum is growing’

It looks like that gerbil stuck in Richard Gere’s butt was the start of something big.

‘Oooh ooh me, I got one. Otters sometimes rape baby seals to death and then carry (swim?) the carcass around with them so they can keep raping it.’

Again, the animal kingdom astounds me.

‘Right now, at this very moment, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of different species living on and in your body. You provide food, shelter, warm, and comfort to them, and no amount of washing or cleansing can get rid of them.

From the mites that live in your eyebrows and pubic regions, feasting on your sloughed-off skin cells, the many different molds/fungi that live happily on your feet and buttcrack, to the teeming hordes of bacteria and viruses that live in your bloodstream and guts.

Each human being is like a planet/continent supporting a vast microcosm of living organisms.’

This is fascinating but makes me want to take a shower right now, even though I haven’t been to the pool in a while.

‘I open mouth kissed a horse once.’

How!?!? Horses have humongous mouths and tongues!? I would be super scared that it wasn’t going to bite my head off or smash me in the face with its head too. Messed up sure but also kind of impressive.

Onto the next page…



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