Leonardo DiCaprio Vs Dan Bilzerian: Who’s Crushing Life Harder?

Category #7: Legacy

Perhaps the most important factor of all — which man will leave behind the bigger legacy? Bilzerian is a 4 year military veteran. He’s a venture capitalist and one of the most recognizable poker players in the world. He once won $10.8 million playing a single game of heads-up, no-limit hold ‘em. He was named the ‘Funniest Poker Player on Twitter’ and is the co-founder of Victory Poker. He’s appeared as an extra in ‘Lone Survivor’, ‘The Other Woman’ and ‘Equalizer’. He spends money and hangs around with porn stars all day. He parties harder than any other motherfucker on the planet.

Leo DiCaprio has appeared in 24 films with a total lifetime worldwide box office movie gross of $5,726,200,000, which is just fucking ridiculous. He earned $10 million for Wolf of Wall Street, $20 million for Great Gatsby, and $59 million for Inception. He’s been in some of greatest movies of all time and still has plenty more coming. If it wasn’t for the fact he’s shockingly never won an Oscar, he’d be up there with the most accomplished and successful actors of all time.

Bilzerian’s grandkids will be gawking over their granddad’s Instagram photos and footage of his killer poker hands. Leo’s grandkids will be watching him drowning on the Titanic and acting alongside fellow movie legends. They’ll also hear about the time their graddaddy told The Kardashians to go fuck themselves, then did the same to Justin Bieber.

Winner: Leo

Well, that was pretty conclusive. Leo squashes Dan Bilzerian in every category except Partying Hard, which is basically what Bilzerian is famous for in the first place. Just completely outclassed and outmanned. Would be pretty embarrassing if Leo trumped him in that category too. Bilzerian should be happy with his lot though; being a multi-millionaire poker player/venture capitalist/movie extra/Instagram superstar who hangs out with porn stars all day is certainly something to be content with. It’s just not that impressive when compared to the effortless swag levels exhibited by Leo motherfucking DiCaprio.