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New Law Will Fine Men £80 For Masturbating

Wanker

Bad news for all you wankers out there.

A politician over in Texas has filed legislation that requests for men to be fined for masturbating unless they are carrying the act out in a hospital or clinic. Bad news for all the American wankers.

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The ‘Man’s Right To Know Act’, created by Democrat Jessica Farrar, is supposed to highlight the issues women face with regards to targeted healthcare legislation, in particular with abortion. Texas is very Republican dominant, and the state has some of the most restrictive abortion laws due to its religious culture.

Therefore any guy who comes outside of a vagina or hospital would be scrutinised for the, “act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.” Women are made to undergo an invasive ultrasound at least 24 hours before they had an abortion, which would require two trips to the clinic, so this is Farrar’s prevention measure.

Farrar

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Meanwhile, a GOP representative called for abortion to be criminalised in Texas – it is currently in the committee stage, but if successful, would make it a criminal offence for a woman to have an abortion, even if the pregnancy were a result of rape. Shocking. Farrar said:

When a woman has to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound, it has nothing to do with her healthcare. One of the state’s objectives is to guilt her into changing her mind.

A lot of people find the bill funny. What’s not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare.

Masturbatory emissions created in health or medical facilities will be stored for the purposes of conception for a current or future wife.

I guess this is Farrar’s preventative measure to protect women, but it doesn’t make it any less stupid. I mean, how are they even going to know if a man has masturbated? It makes no sense. What should really be happening is for abortion to be made easier for women who really need it – then no one would have to come up with mad masturbation bans.

While we’re on the topic, a recent study came out that showed that male babies masturbate in the womb – if the law gets passed, I wonder if the babies will get charged? It’s only fair.

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