CHIRPSES

The Guinness World Sex Records Have Just Been Announced And It

Sex Olympics

Guess how many orgasms someone had in an hour…

Do you remember looking through the Guinness World Book Of Records when you were a kid? I used to love seeing all the weird and wonderful shit people were up to in the world such as the longest someone spent in a bath of baked beans or how many hugs someone could fit in a minute.

But yeah, as much fun as that was, we’re all adults now so I think it’s way more appropriate and entertaining to talk about the Guinness World SEX Records instead, brought to us by the one and only Daily Star. If any of you guys reckon you could beat these then drop us an email as we’d love to hear about your sexcapades. So here we go – the top 5 sex related world records:

Most bras removed

We’ll start with the most vanilla one. Although a lot of guys have an issue with this simple yet important task, one guy called Chris Nicholson managed to unhook 20 bras in 60 seconds. Beat that? Doubt it. Let’s delve deeper…

The longest ejaculation

Yeah that’s right, this actually happened – someone bothered to record how long a guy could shoot his load. So what was the result? You might not believe me but honest to god, one guy managed to get his jizz to reach 6 metres. Yeah, 6 metres. He must’ve been saving that up for years.

The largest vagina

How do you measure a vagina? By circumference apparently. So one girl named Anna Swan smashed it with her one that measured 48 motherfucking centimetres. Like shooting a sausage down a barrel.

Most semen swallowed

I can’t even believe that this is a record but it is, so yeah we’ll just have to deal with that. Back in 1991 a woman named Michelle Monahan huffed down a total of 1.7 pints of jizz resulting in her having to get her stomach pumped. Not sure how she got to this point but she won a record for it and survived to tell the tale so good on her, I guess?

Most orgasms in an hour

How many times can you cum in an hour? Once? Twice? Try 134. Yeah that’s right. A group of researchers over at the Centre for Sexual Studies in California monitored a woman who had 134 orgasms in 60 minutes. Technically that sounds like heaven but in reality you would be absolutely fucked.

So there you have it. Doubt any of you realised just how far you could take the human body. Bet you all feel like a normal bunch of fuckers now, right? Hey, ho, at least you don’t have the record for the largest vagina or most amount of semen swallowed.

I wonder if this woman could win a record for having the most vaginas on one body?

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