4) Hair

Website: Daily Mail Online

Headline: Purple mane! Ireland Baldwin shows off her boldly coloured new hairstyle in series of selfies

More Fitting Headline: Girl dyes her hair

Summary: Ireland, daughter of actors Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, has dyed her hair purple to increase the amount of attention she already gets. She was blonde before if you didn’t know already. I also learned that Ireland has 58,000 followers on Twitter, which seems a suspiciously round number to me?

Quote To Note: “And it seems her fans were impressed too, for she got numerous compliments, with one person going so far as to send in a picture of their own purple hair”. Wow, that is far.

Favourite Reader’s Comment: “She seems like a nice girl, I won’t lie but she tries really hard”. What?

When your facial muscles have returned to normal after cringing so hard maybe you should have a bit of a cry to really clean the pipes out? It worked for me.

☛ Next: Today’s Top 4 Crap Celebrity News Items #2