FOOD

Chicken Wars: KFC Strikes Back With A Video Reply Regarding Their Chickens

KFC

KFC have had enough of all you internet people bad mouthing The Colonel, so have produced a lame video so you can see the cuddly chickens before you eat them.

KFC

OK for those of you who don’t know: a while ago KFC was accused of cruelty to their chickens. Among the claims were stories of the cramped crowded conditions, the way the animals were slaughtered – even accusations of biologically altered chickens were thrown in for good measure. The internet, being the apparent way to make or break a company nowadays, went mental. The main post that flew around was that KFC was no longer called Kentucky Fried Chicken, but was now called KFC because what they were cooking wasn’t technically chicken any more. So KFC responded with a video.

The rumours gained some momentum and then the celebrities started to weigh in. Most notably Pamela Anderson, Sir Paul McCartney, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and the Rev. Al Sharpton. Some big names, obviously they all work for PETA and are vegetarians so it’s kind of biased as they have never tasted Colonels. If you would like to look at the video it is at this link here.

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Now I want to be as fair as possible. This isn’t a rant or a hate speech. A lot of people commenting on the video brought up the issue of a Halal meat, personally I don’t find that a problem; Chicken is chicken no matter how you slice it. But I thought it best to give both sides of the argument. So PETA as well as some other hippies, I mean activists, have released an attack on our much loved KFC (just kidding).

KFC stands accused of cramming birds into huge waste-filled factories, breeding and drugging them to grow so large that they can’t even walk, and often breaking their wings and legs. At slaughter, the birds’ throats are allegedly slit and dropped into tanks of scalding-hot water–often while they are still conscious (although there is no way to tell). PETA alleges that KFC’s own animal welfare advisors have asked the company to take steps to eliminate these abuses, but KFC refuses to do so.

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KFC’s response to this, after much deliberation, is this video.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6il4YpZBOWA&feature=youtu.be’]

So KFC has denied all the allegations. It has confessed to keeping the chickens in warehouses, and systematically killing them in a sort of chicken holocaust. Obviously this is all within the law and they have admitted that some KFC restaurants cater for people who eat Halal meat, to comply with EU regulations. KFC has shrewdly shown a video of themselves manufacturing chicken from live animal to mini fillet with no fowl play (geddit). If I’m honest the way companies handle criticism, compared to the way that activists get their information seems a lot more honourable.

Verdict: I pronounce KFC innocent for the following reasons:

1. KFC is some of the best chicken in the world. (Sorry Nando’s)

2. PETA are irritating.

3. I don’t like videos designed to shock or provoke a reaction for the purpose of curving my opinion. Evidence and hard facts win arguments.

4. Charities such as PETA have a necessity to stay in the public eye, so starting a rumour/conspiracy theory would probably work in their favour.

5. PETA chose Pamela Anderson to be their spokesperson? You’ve got the Dalai ‘freaking’ Lama, use him!

6. KFC handled the matter professionally.

7. PETA presented a lot of information and video footage, with no supporting evidence apart from what was listed.

8. KFC is tasty.

9. Does anyone care? They’re chickens. If they were the top predator, you would have to wear a helmet to protect you from the beaks.

10. You don’t fuck with the Colonel. (Military honours)

The Colonel

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OK, so I kind of missed the point and let this article slip towards the end. But hopefully you see my point. I’d rather not know how it’s cooked or slaughtered, I just want to eat chicken. There are horrific atrocities happening all over the world from the smallest ant to the biggest whale, and it is our ability to empathise like this that makes the tough choices, like the mass production of food, more difficult for some. In other words to enjoy KFC chicken you have to slaughter chickens en masse. It’s not pleasant and I can understand why people are against it, But there is a very good reason. Chickens are slow and they are stupid and that is why we eat them. Let me put it this way… have you ever tasted tiger?

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