“Nani” is what people call him during their final few minutes in the woods behind the storage depot.

You’d look this confident, too, if your official job title called you the “Controller.” Only the Controller can get away with having a moustache.

There’s not much more you can do with hair like that, except have it swept as far out of sight as possible.

Ray Ratto is not an executive. He is a sports writer. So we’ve hired him, without his permission or knowledge, to be the new Sexy Executives Non-Executive Director of Sports. Now Ray is an executive. Welcome aboard, Ray! So here he is:

“Just pop your trousers down for me. Oh yes, you can tell an awful lot about a man’s cellular make-up by simply cupping his buttocks and breathing in his scent.”