Woman Who Predicts The Future With Asparagus Has Made Her Predictions For 2026

ByMF Jones

69-year-old woman/sorcerer Jemima Packington from Bath claims that she can predict the future by throwing asparagus stalks into the air and then reading them when they land.

Crazy, right? Well yeah it’s crazy, but let’s don’t dismiss Jemima outright, because here’s a bunch of things she’s managed to predict correctly thus far thanks to her asparagus-reading technique:

  • Boris Johnson would become leader of the Tory party – correct.
  • Harry and Meghan would leave the UK – correct.
  • England would win the Cricket World Cup in 2019 – correct.
  • Thomas Cook and Mothercare to close down – correct.
  • Brexit will happen – correct.

Well? Are you a believer in the power of asparagus yet? Well if not maybe Jemima’s predictions for 2026 will sway you once they inevitably come true. Here’s what the magic asparagus tells her is going down this year:

  1. There will be a General Election in the UK with Regime change on the way.
  2. More flooding in the UK will cause serious disruptions to our infrastructure.
  3. US midterm elections will see a massive swing to the Democrats.
  4. Major scandals affecting well loved UK soap characters.
  5. People will be looking to mindfulness as a means to seek self healing. More emphasis on alternate methods and medicines.
  6. The European Union countries will lessen their reliance on the US.
  7. UK farmers will get more much needed help.
  8. England will win the World Cup (!!!).
  9. The Royal Family will see more health scares.
  10. A former member of the Royal Household will be arrested.
  11. Kevin Sinfield CBE will get his Knighthood.
  12. There will be a massive change in popular music with young up and coming musicians turning to the more jazzy Swing era of the 1940s and 1950s.
  13. Unexpected pop star death (orexpected, now that she’s told us).
  14. Some very well known former sportsmen will fall out of favour with the British public but others will go from strength to strength in new careers.
  15. The British Asparagus Festival will be extremely successful.

Well, let’s be honest, some of those are stupidly vague but the one that really stands out is that England are winning the World Cup. Finally! Thomas Tuchel and the Three Lions will end 60 years of hurt this summer!

How does Jemima’s asparagus sorcery work exactly, anyway?

She explains: “When I cast the asparagus, it creates patterns and it is the patterns I interpret. I’m able to interpret the patterns left by the asparagus.

“I am usually about 75-90 per cent accurate with my predictions. I go through my predictions each year and think: ‘Yep, that’s happened, yep, that’s happened.’

Occasionally I get one slightly off, where I haven’t quite read it correctly, but I’m never far off.”

Well, there you have it. I don’t know about you but I’m fully on board with Jemima’s predictions and expect them all to come true. Congratulations in advance, Bukayo Saka and co!

For the psychic who told a woman to ‘make the most of the next three years’ after she asked for a refund, click HERE. What a mind f***.

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