Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry containing 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second line and 5 syllables in the third. Benedict Smith, a 20 year old writer from London, decided to write one for every girl he’s ever slept with. Here they are:

1. The haiku form is

Of an appropriate length

To describe this fuck

2. When I handcuffed you

It was so insanely hot

I came in my jeans

3. We used to have sex

So we didn’t have to talk

Now we do neither

4. We had a threesome

You, me and my depression

Depression fucks hard

5. I shouted my love

From the rooftops before

Almost jumping off

6. You didn’t like me

But you did like my writing

I guess that’s enough

7. Entangled, twitching

We came down as cenotaphs

Numb with limbless minds

8. Tried your fantasy

And pretended to rape you.

It felt a bit forced.

9. You learned of my pain

And said you’d try to fix me

That wasn’t your job

10. You weren’t attractive

But alcohol and codeine

Made a mess of me

11. You liked to be choked

You stuffed animals for fun

You were just my type.

12. Halfway through you sobbed

Said you were touched as a child

I stopped and held you

13. 13 is bad luck

But three’s a lucky number

14 would agree

14. It wasn’t awkward

It was just double the fun

That’s arithmetic

15. Puked everywhere

And then fell into a bush

You still wanted me