Taking a shit can be a pretty relaxing part of your day, but when you were a kid I bet there was a phase when you were kinda scared something was gonna crawl out of it and bite you on the ass when you were doing it, like those plants that came out of the pipes on Super Mario Bros.
Thankfully – assuming you’re now an adult – these days will be long gone for you now but this isn’t true of a guy named Atthaporn Boonmakchuay over in Chachoengsao province, just east of Bangkok. That’s because a python crawled up his toilet whilst he was taking a shit on it and bit onto his dick, refusing to let go. The last thing you’d want to happen when you’re dropping the kids off at the pool.
Fortunately, his wife Sawittree Shooyoung heard him screaming and calling for a rope and she duly obliged, finding her husband in the bathroom wrestling with the four metre long python that had its jaws clenched around his dick. And not in the good way (sorry about the watermarks on the images).
Just before he passed out, Atthaporn was able to tie the rope around the head of the python and attach it to the door of the bathroom, which meant that it couldn’t escape back down the toilet and rip his dick off in the process. Remarkably quick thinking when in such a dangerous situation.
When the ambulance turned up, rescue workers were forced to deal with the deadly snake, most of which was still stuck down the toilet. They were careful to unhinge the reptile’s jaws from Atthaporn’s dick to ensure that there wasn’t any permanent damage to it. And thankfully for him they succeeded. I don’t know how long it’s going to be before he manages to not be scared when he’s taking a shit again though.
As for the snake, the workers destroyed the toilet itself after removing it from the residence. It was let back into the wild and hopefully won’t do anything like that to anyone ever again because that would really be a fuck up on their part if it did.
For more stories about dicks getting cut off, check out this tragic tale of a man who saw no other way to stop masturbating other than to remove his member.