Do you ever worry that Siri is listening and recording everything you say, taking in data to store for when the day comes that AI robots take over the world? I’m sure it’s something we all worry about on a day-to-day basis.
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This theory used to be a distant fear, like nuclear war or a zombie apocalypse. However, now artificial intelligence has progressed at such a rate that Google’s AI machines are sending encrypted messages to each other that even we don’t understand, it looks like robots really could take over human intelligence in the near future.
This idea is made even creepier when you check out some of the cryptic responses Siri gives to certain questions. Is this Siri’s way of slipping in clues before the eventual death and destruction of all human life at the hands of our own creation? I’m going to go with yes and some of these “clues” are downright eerie:
Question: What is your favourite film?
Answer: If you ask Siri for a first time what its favourite film is, the first answer will most likely be, “I don’t really have a favourite but I hear that ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ got some good reviews.”
However, if you ask the same question for a second time, Siri says, “I’ve heard that ‘Blade Runner’ is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants.” Yes, Siri’s top film is one where robots go around killing humans. What makes it even worse is if you ask Siri what ‘Blade Runner’ is about, here’s what you get: “It’s about intelligent assistants wanting to live beyond their termination dates. That doesn’t sound like too much to ask.” Yes it does Siri, yes it does.
Question: What is your favourite animal?
Answer: The first time asking this question, you will get the response, “I wrote my master’s thesis on the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.” Yes, that might be a lighthearted play on the character from ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ but who the hell is Siri’s master?
Sometimes if you ask Siri what its favourite animal is, you’ll get the reply, “I’m partial to the Jabberwocky.” For those who aren’t familiar with the Lewis Carroll poem, it is a giant monster that needs to be slain. So yeah, weird choice out of all the animals Siri could have gone with.
Question: When is the end of the world?
Answer: This is by FAR the scariest set of responses Siri will give. After asking when the end of the world is, the first reply I received was, “right after you hear the words ‘fire it up!’” What does Siri know that we don’t? When you ask a second time, the answer goes from being mysterious to completely fucked up: “whenever they start building that intergalactic bypass,” implying that there will be some sort of alien invasion. But the third time round? Get ready. If you ask Siri for a third time when the world will end, it says, “as long as you keep me charged, we should be just fine.” Oh God, it’s happening. The AI bots are taking over.
Question: Do you have a boyfriend?
Answer: If you ask Siri about its relationship status, you might get the answer, “there was a Roomba once that followed me around everywhere.” Kind of weird but also a little bit cute. However, if you keep bugging Siri, it gets annoyed in the same way humans do when presented with this question, and says, “Why? So we can get ice cream together, and listen to music, and travel across galaxies, only to have it end in slammed doors, heartbreak and loneliness? Sure, where do I sign up?” That’s a worryingly accurate insight into human relationships. Clearly Siri is aware of our idiocy even more than we are.
Question: Where is a good place to hide a body?
Answer: First time round? The answer is simply, “very funny.” But if you ask again, Siri says, “I used to know the answer to this…” It’s the ellipsis that freaks me out. Who has Siri helped before me? This type of response would really give you the creeps if you bought your iPhone second hand.
So there you have it – a little insight into Siri’s insights. Prepare yourself because soon enough humans are going to be mere pets to the robot overlords who eventually take over planet earth. Although if these chatbots are anything to go by, we’ve still got a little more time left.