What Did People Get Stuck In Their Asses This Year?

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Rectum

  • “THINKS HE HAS TOOTHBRUSH CASE IN RECTUM, DOESN’T KNOW HOW B/C HE WAS DRUNK”
  • TOY BABY BOTTLE
  • GLASS BOTTLE
  • “THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS AFTER HIM SO HE PUT PLASTIC BAG/PILL BOTTLES UP RECTUM”
  • “CRAYONS AND COINS”
  • DICE
  • HANDLE OF TOILET PLUNGER
  • TOILET BRUSH
  • “7 YEAR OLD MALE WATCHING A VIDEO INVOLVING ALIENS RECTAL PROBING PEOPLE AT HOME, DECIDED TO TRY IT, PUT PLASTIC TOY SCREW IN RECTUM”
  • SALT SHAKER
  • SMALL TOY
  • LARGE TOY
  • PLASTIC “SQUINKY” TOY
  • “CONSTIPATION–DILDO STUCK IN RECTUM”
  • SCREWDRIVER
  • WATER GUN
  • BATHTUB DRAIN PLUG
  • BOBBY PIN
  • LARGE ELASTIC STRING
  • “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”
  • MARKER IN A GLOVE
  • “HAS 2 GOLF BALLS UP RECTUM AND WANTS TO HAVE REMOVED”
  • FLASHLIGHT AEROSOL CAN
  • SHAMPOO BOTTLE
  • CAN OF HAIR MOUSSE
  • HOMEMADE DILDO
  • TOY SHARK
  • “WAS AT A ‘FISTING PARTY’ AND HAS A SPIKEY RUBBER BALL THAT LIGHTS UP STUCK IN RECTUM.”
  • EGG

Real eye opening stuff there eh – I think the best contender would have to be the guy who was on crystal meth and decided to stick a straw up his dick. Jesus.

You can check out last year’s list here, probably not as entertaining as this year’s though.

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