NEWS

Here’s A List Of What People Got Stuck Up Their Asses This Christmas

Stuff Stuck Up People's Butts

Every year this list gets better and better.

Every year, the guys over at Deadspin trawl through the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits to find out what people got stuck in their various orifices that year. Every year, it’s absolutely ridiculous and crazy and this year is no exception.

Highlights include a tampon stuck in someone’s ear (what?), a spray paint can stuck up someone’s ass and a 10 inch steak knife in someone’s vagina. We told you it got better and better each year.

To check out last year’s list click here.

EAR

Ear

  • SOAP
  • AIR FRESHENER BEAD
  • WALKIE-TALKIE ANTENNA
  • KEY
  • JEWEL FROM TOY CROWN
  • DIAMOND
  • TIP OF DART
  • BUG
  • SCREW
  • “PUT TISSUE IN HIS EAR ONE MONTH AGO AND FEELS LIKE IT IS STILL THERE”
  • RUBBER BAND
  • TAMPON
  • GLOW STICK
  • NIPPLE FROM BABY BOTTLE

NOSE

Nose

  • MINIATURE HOCKEY PUCK
  • TOOTHPICK
  • HAIR BRAID
  • “10 SIDED DICE”
  • FISHING SINKER
  • PLASTIC EYEBALL
  • GUM
  • LITHIUM TABLET
  • “A LEG”
  • SPONGE
  • “USED A METAL COAT HANGER TO SWAT A BEE OFF OF HIS NECK AND COAT HANGER WENT UP NOSTRIL”

THROAT

Plastic Fork

  • CLOTHES HANGER
  • TOY ARROW
  • SHARK TOY
  • GRILL BRUSH BRISTLES
  • PLASTIC FORK
  • BRILLO PAD (FROM CRACK PIPE)
  • “HAD A BUTTON IN HAND,WENT TO SNEEZE,TRIED TO COVER MOUTH W/HAND & INHALED BUTTON”
  • SKIRT
  • THERMOMETER
  • SILVER CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT
  • FOIL FROM BAKED POTATO
  • COOKIE WRAPPED IN CELLOPHANE
  • RETAINER

PENIS

Long Balloon

  • RUBBER TUBE
  • “PLASTIC SPOON AND PERHAPS A PENCIL”
  • CROCHET NEEDLE
  • “STUCK A NAIL IN URETHRA THEN IT MIGRATED UP INTO THE BLADDER”
  • WOOL YARN
  • LONG PLASTIC HAND OF STIRRING SPOON
  • “INSERTED A LONG BALLOON IN PENIS TO HAVE GIRLFRIEND BLOW UP FOR SEXUAL STIMULATION AND IT BROKE”

VAGINA

Bag Of Crystal Meth

  • PLASTIC HANDLE OF SCISSORS
  • KNITTING NEEDLES
  • PEN
  • “A LARGE AMOUNT OF SAND”
  • HAIR TIE
  • BAG OF CRYSTAL METH
  • 10″ STEAK KNIFE
  • RAZOR
  • SPONGE
  • “ONE BATTERY AND THREE COINS”
  • BATHTUB STOPPER
  • “PUT A BAG OF MONEY IN VAGINA TO HIDE IT FROM HUSBAND”
  • BILLIARD BALL
  • “ORGASM BALLS”

RECTUM

Can Of Spray Paint

  • TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
  • PIPE
  • KEYS
  • ACORN
  • SHOT GLASS
  • DRUM STICK
  • ICE PICK
  • UNSHARPENED PENCIL
  • “HAD ANAL SEX & HAS BRUISING, BLOOD ON TOILET PAPER, TOOK CRYSTAL METH TO HELP PAIN”
  • CANDLE
  • AIR FRESHENER
  • CAN OF SPRAY PAINT
  • SHAVING CREAM CAN
  • SHAMPOO BOTTLE
  • LOTION BOTTLE
  • SODA CAN
  • “BEER BOTTLE UP RECTUM & BOTTLE BROKE WHEN TRIED TO RETRIEVE BOTTLE W/ PLIERS. COCAINE USE PRIOR TO INSERTION”
  • TURKEY BASTER
  • PHONE CORD
  • GOLF BALL
  • METAL TOILET PAPER HOLDER
  • TENT STAKES
  • “ROLLED UP STACK OF PLASTIC TRASH BAGS”
  • CHRISTMAS BELL
  • LOG

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