The Vapors – Turning Japanese (1980)
[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4′]
“I often kiss you when there’s no one else around
I’ve got your picture, I’ve got your picture
I’d like a million of you all round my cell
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You’ve got me turning up and turning down
And turning in and turning ’round
I’m turning Japanese
I think I’m turning Japanese
I really think so”
This New Wave classic is possibly the greatest musical homage to masturbation that has ever graced the speakers of the world. With a touch of racial insensitivity, dirty innuendo, creepy lyrics and constant references to the “o” face that we’ve all been guilty of – it really does tick all the boxes. For the idiots who don’t understand what exactly it means to Turn Japanese I recommend you go onto a search engine and type in the most sexually arousing thing you can think of and then spend 5 minutes or so looking in the mirror. Hopefully that’s cleared it up for you.
Well I’ve worked up an appetite now so I’m off to screw my face up til I look like Mr Miyagi on crack.
Safe ones.
☛ More Masturbating: Nationwide Supermarket Ban For Man Caught Masturbating In Sainsbury’s
