MUSIC

Songs In The Key Of Masturbation

masturbation front cover copy

Some subtle, some showy and some that are just down right fvcking dirty…the songs that pay homage to masturbation.

U2 – With Or Without You (1987)

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“I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or without you
With or without you
Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you”

The true story of the most self-indulgent douche bag in the world, Bono.  Allow me to set the scene…Bono is at the age of 24 and despite being in an uncomprimisingly gigantic rock band he cannot get any tail whatsoever. He finally offers some bird enough moulet to part with that little special part of herself named dignity. He waits around all night – he even lends his time to a bit of slight of hand whilst treating himself all 50 shades on some nails. Then the Irish journeyman decides that he can probably reach that shore by himself – he’s just gotta build up enough juice to weather the storm…one thing leads to another and he makes it to not so dry land – but seeing as he hasn’t had it for ages – he is left wanting more. But he’ll probably arrive again…with or without her.

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