LIFE

Sick Chirpse Guide To Surviving A Nuclear Apocalypse

Fingers crossed you won’t need a guide to surviving a nuclear holocaust… but you’d better read it just in case…

1) Stay Or Go?

Nuclear War Survival Guide - dont panic

Tricky decision and it’s going to depend on how close the impact is/was to your home. But in general you’re going to better off staying where you are for a number of reasons.

Plenty of people are going to be going bat-shizzle-retardicon, the roads will be jammed with evacuees, official vehicles, madmen wielding bibles and more. If you’re expecting an open road to freedom, think again.

Nuclear War Survival Guide - traffic jam

Officials will probably halt traffic to and from certain areas to restrict the spread of radiation and panic. So you might end up getting rammed shut in a traffic jam. Also, if you’re planning on travelling far, where are you going to buy fuel from? When the apocalypse comes, people who get paid £4.50 an hour will not show up to work. Fact.

You don’t want to be stuck half way between your home and your destination, in no mans land without food and water. You’re better off staying where you are.

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