A few days ago, reports were doing the rounds that Vladimir Putin had involuntarily crapped his pants while taking a tumble down the stairs.
A post on Telegram from General SVR claimed the war monger had slipped and fallen down five steps after a long day, describing the scene as follows:
Putin was walking downstairs when he stumbled and fell to his back, after which he fell on his side and slid down a couple of steps.
The incident took place in front of the president’s bodyguards, who reacted quickly and rushed to Putin’s aid.
Three security officers helped the president to get to the nearest sofa and called the doctors who are on duty at the residence.
Medics arrived within a few minutes, but could not immediately examine the president due to him suffering oncology of the gastrointestinal tract, as a result of which he already experiences serious problems with digestion and the fall caused an involuntary reaction.
Before the examination, the doctors escorted the president to the bathroom and helped to clean up.
After a complete examination, a bruise of the coccyx and soft tissues was diagnosed.
Pretty humiliating stuff for a guy who has an image of a fearsome dictator to keep up, so it’s no surprise the Kremlin has finally addressed the incident in a message to Newsweek:
“We can say that this is completely untrue.”
Previously, the Kremlin again looked to shut down speculation about Putin’s well being:
“Everything is fine with his health. You know that Ukrainian information specialists, and American and British ones, have been throwing out various fakes about the state of the president’s health in recent months—these are nothing but fakes.”
Well it’s not like they’d tell us if it was true, but there is a possibility it’s all anti-Putin propaganda. Then again, based on footage aired by Russia themselves, Putin has been looking puffy, stiff and shaky, and is very afraid of Covid. There’s been rumours that he’s been battling cancer for some time, and I bet he’d prefer everyone believes that rather than believe he full-on shat himself while tripping down the stairs. Probably thinks that’s the sort of thing that would happen to Joe Biden, not him. In any case, a pretty decent metaphor for Russia’s military performance in Ukraine. An absolute shxt-show.
For the 7-foot tall bigfoot-hunting boxer that Putin has recruited to the Russian army, click HERE. Getting desperate.
