Man Punches Judge, Is Subjected To Least Surprising Arrest Ever



In a free and democratic society, there are many ways to protest the law.

Some people hold demonstrations or marches, some stage sit-ins or strikes, and some people dress as Batman and disrupt traffic, because not every idea has a great deal of thought behind it.

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Way ahead of even the stupidest Fathers For Justice stunt, however, is fitness instructor Paul Graham, who decided that the best way to protest what he felt was an unfair court ruling was to tear off his shirt, leap out of the public gallery and attempt to punch the judge to death.

British courts don’t allow photography, which is a real shame in this case, so we’re forced to use this reconstruction as a proxy:

Hogan shirt

Hogan choke

Mr. Graham, according to reports, was aggrieved that his brother had been given a draconian 30-month sentence for the paltry crime of killing a motorcyclist through dangerous driving.

As if his outrage over this didn’t betray enough of his shaky grasp of the concept of justice, the shirtless and irate Graham proceeded to tear off judge John Deveraux’s wig and gown, presumably on the mistaken assumption that a judge’s verdict is null and void if you can undress him fast enough.

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Either that or, evincing the high IQ and deductive reasoning that we expect from a fitness instructor, Mr. Graham assumed a judge’s power was located in his wig, and this was the only way to defeat him.

This is, of course, silly. Everyone knows that, like the mighty Thor, a judge’s power lies in his hammer. There’s only one judge who isn’t allowed to be seen without his headgear, and he’d almost certainly have kicked the shit out of Pual Graham:

Judge Dredd

Mr. Graham was, to the surprise of nobody except perhaps himself, arrested on the spot for contempt of court and assault, and on June 4th he faced another, different judge who sent him down for 18 months.

Sadly, Mr. Graham did not react even more violently to his own sentencing, thereby setting up and endless feedback loop of increasingly severe punishments and increasingly extreme reactions, until he was either guillotined or managed to defeat some sort of boss-level judge and become head of the CPS.

Still, there’s always prison boxing.

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