Kim Jong Un Has Executed His Ex Girlfriend


Kim Jong Un has had his girlfriend executed via machine gun firing squad after he found out she’d filmed a sex tape.

Insane news out of North Korea — Kim Jong Un has had his ex girlfriend executed by machine gun firing squad. Chosun Ilbo reports that singer Hyon Song Wol was arrested on August 17th along with a dozen members of her orchestra accused of filming a sex tape and selling it. Three days later Kim had them shot for violating the country’s anti smut laws.

“Kim Jong Un has been viciously eliminating anyone who he deems a challenge to his authority”, said one helpful source.

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Kim had known Hyon for about ten years and their relationship had ended at the orders of Kim’s similarly unhinged father Kim Jong Il.

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Could Kim Jong Un be any more of a supervillain if he tried? Was this really worth murdering the girl (and her band) over or does he have some other fucked up reason as to why he’d want her dead? We all have ex girlfriends who could humiliate the shit out of us if they wanted. The ones who know all about the cutesy pussy shit we do behind closed doors, our ‘girlfriend voice’ and whatnot. Maybe he thought it was only a matter of time before she spilled the beans, the way his father’s personal chef spilled the beans after he escaped North Korea. Except his ex would have had way juicier gossip, probably about premature jizzing or the time he cried in bed or anything like that that would crush your status as the most dangerous and feared dictator in the world.


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