Kim Jong Un Gets New Bird

Kim Jong Un

North Korea’s richest fatty boom batty bags himself a new bit of skirt despite being a complete thug.

The new, fat faced, sausage fingered, cheese burger munching despot of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, has been seen hanging about with a racey looking young lady recently. It’s been a bit of a mystery as to who she is up until now. However, it now seems people have worked out who the new totty is. She’s called Hyon Song-wol and used to be a pop singer. Kim Jong Un had dated her a decade ago until his Daddy told him not to get involved, probably to minimise distractions whilst being groomed to become the next bastard in charge; But since Pops died it seems he’s been getting some action again. I just hope she keeps him chilled enough not to nuke anyone. The word on the street is that Hyon is supposed to have been married to a soldier and given birth sometime this year, but the whereabouts of hubby and child are unknown. It wouldn’t be a complete surprise if they had been “deleted“, that seems to be how the regime deals with troublesome things like that. How romantic.

Her band – Bochonbo Electronic Music Band – produced some fly ditties such as “She Is A Discharged Soldier”, “We are Troops of the Party and “Excellent Horse-Like Lady” which I have featured below. The video is set in a factory and has good, sturdy communist themes. But it was always going to wasn’t it? Kim the elder or younger would have probably set her on fire if she’d written about anything more racey like bingo, or freedom. Here’s a snap shot of the lyrical content:

They say I am a virgin on a stallion
Mounting a stallion my dear leader gave me
All my life I will live to uphold his name

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I was just about to publish this article as a light hearted prod at a chubby dictator and his brown nosing lady friend. Then I stumbled across the video below. I know the troubles over there are widely reported so I’m not going to go in to it, and also I am a political dunce. I just thought it would be crass not to remind myself of how dark it is over there. The video features a couple of North Koreans who had tried to escape the country for a better life/ any life at all, and been caught. They’re blind folded and beaten. One of the “crimes” they are being punished for is simply having a ripped picture of one of the Kim’s. These guys are no joke and we should thank our lucky stars we get the freedom to roam.

Fvck the Kims. Not for the faint hearted.

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